"Well after 3 weeks of using common sense to make picks and ending up at .500, this is the cointoss week where every pick will be decided by a coin toss. Heads will represent the Home team and Tails will represent the Away team. Still with each pick I will provide expert analysis as to why this team will win. Let's see how much a quarter knows about football..."
-Joe
Last Week's Picks
Joe: 6-8 (21-21 overall)
Mike: 5-9 (22-20 overall)
Flashes of Brilliance:
Joe: "Upset special. This is the week it implodes for Dallas. Poor Brad Johnson doesn't know what he is in for everytime he calls/runs a play that doesn't involve God's Gift TO." (StL wins 34-14); "Still comes down to final possession because Oakland is just that bad." (OAK wins in OT)
Mike: "I like the Bills and their weather against this overrated SoCal team." (Bills win 23-14); "Unofficially, Steelers by 30." (Steelers win 38-10)
Week 8 Picks
Oakland (+6) at Baltimore
Joe: BAL. The quarter is off to a good start. Oakland will have trouble getting the ball into Ravens territory. Not that it matters if they choose to kick some more 70+ yards field goals.
Mike: OAK. Did you see the joy in Coach Cable's face when last week's 57-yrd overtime field goal proved true? Five more of those and he will surpass Lane Kiffin on the Raiders All Time Winningest Coach list. Let's hope Ray Lewis doesn't murder him first.
San Diego (-3) at New Orleans
Joe: NO. Drew Brees in the dome versus a questionable SD defense will call for some high numbers. Expect this game to be in the 30's on both sides.
Mike: NO. One is yin, the other is yang. One is the Captain and the other is Tenille. Drew Brees was ousted for the whippersnapper Phil Rivers. Reggie (bad knee) was supposed to out-LT LT (bad toe). So what will happen in this game? Probably the opposite of what you expect. A tie.
Kansas City (+12) at NY Jets
Joe: NYJ. Apparently I'm using a double-headed quarter or its possessed by the ghost of Vince Lombardi. Thank you Vince for not making me come up with some way of KC winning. Luckily for the women of JETS stadium, Larry Johnson will not be playing.
Mike: NYJ. Really? Twelve points against the Jets? Are the Chiefs really this bad? Did Larry really spit his drink on some chick? Unless Joe Montana comes back to teach Brett Favre a thing or two about comebacks, KC has no chance.
Buffalo (-1) at Miami
Joe: BUF. I'm getting a little creeped out by how smart this coin is turning out to be. Maybe this week Miami will use the Wishbone or some new offense named after one of Ricky's plants. None of it will matter, Buffalo is for real and heading for the playoffs this year.
Mike: BUF. Who would have guessed that this would be the AFC East matchup of the year.
Tampa Bay (E) at Dallas
Joe: TB. Brad Johnson could barely manage an offense to a SB win even with Tampa's amazing defense. Unfortunately for him, Dallas does not possess anything resembling a defense so he will actually have to lead the offense. Many turnovers later the Bucs leave Big D with a Big W.
Mike: DAL. The last thing the Cowboys want is another postgame Jerry Jones speech.
Atlanta (+8) at Philadelphia
Joe: ATL. I have picked Philly all year to break out and they might this game but Atlanta is actually breaking out and will cover this spread even with the Eagles coming off a bye. Matt Ryan doesn't put up amazing numbers but he makes big plays when needed and that's what will keep this game close throughout.
Mike: ATL. I'll take those 8 points. Philly fan is distracted by baseball. Andy Reid is distracted by Subway's $5 footlongs.
StLouis (+7) at New England
Joe: STL. St. Louis has found new life under Jim Haslett (hard to write that w/out laughing) and NE only plays every other week. Bulger and Jackson will have big games against the Pats depleted defense. It will be high scoring.
Mike: NE. Is it possible we see Mike Vick back in uniform before Tom Brady? It's funny that the Rams are 2-4 and on top of the world. The Browns are 2-4 and ready to crucify themselves.
Arizona (+4) at Carolina
Joe: CAR. Carolina is pulling it together, Julius Peppers finally came out of hiding, and Kurt Warner struggles on the road. Carolina by a couple touchdowns.
Mike: CAR. Here's the new under-the-radar team. After destroying the Saints last week, the Panthers continue to roll with a big win over the Cards.
Washington (-7) at Detroit
Joe: DET. The quarter rolled on its side for about 3 feet trying to flip over to tails but still somehow ended on heads. Maybe they are just going to throw bombs to Calvin Johnson or maybe Washington will have to forfeit for some unknown reason or maybe they finally got the stink of Matt Millen out of the stadium. The quarter picked Detroit so somehow they will cover the spread...
Mike: WAS. If the point spread was 22, I would take the Lions. The Skins seemed to play down to their opponent last week. Big game for Portis and company this week.
Cleveland (+6) at Jacksonville
Joe: CLE. Winslow and his huge (EGO) will be staying home for this one, rookie Martin Rucker will have a breakout game, and Anderson will again suck but make it through the game.
Mike: CLE. Beloved Browns. Why doth thou shreddeth my heart?
NY Giants (+2) at Pittsburgh
Joe: NYG. The champs rise to the challenge and show Pittsburgh they haven't quite returned to SB form yet. The Steelers QB will be sacked and sacked and sacked and sacked...
Mike: NYG. Yes, I know it's almost impossible to win at Pittsburgh but these are the Super Bowl champion New York Football Giants. Only a true champion could beat the cham.... oh, what's that? Cleveland? Monday Night? Was that this season?
Seattle (+5) at San Francisco
Joe: SEA. Well now the coin is just being unreasonable. Hopefully Seneca Wallace's leg has healed enough that he can somewhat resemble a pro quarterback. The question is which will be more intimidating for SF - Singletary as Head Coach or Charlie Frye's sweet 'stache?? (I always vote for the 'stache)
Mike: SF. Wake me up before you go-go and take me dancin' tonight. Anything that takes me away from this snoozefest. West coast football sucks.
Cincinnati (+10) at Houston
Joe: CIN. I think they will score with the Texans and cover the spread. As for Chad Johnson's prediction of 8-1 for the rest of the season, that's like saying Mike Miller will beat Joe Miller in any athletic competition.
Mike: CIN. Oh, you silly Bengals. God love ya.
Indianapolis (+3) at Tennessee
Joe: IND. Last week was a small setback for the Colts. They need this game to keep things interesting and to bring the Titans back to the pack in the AFC. Manning to Wayne wins it.
Mike: TEN. Kerry Collins is the new Trent Dilfer. Rely on the defense, let the running backs take over the game and Kerry, just don't screw it up.
World Series Pick
Joe: TB. The Coin picked Philly but I am taking TB in 7. Screw you Rocky, Jaworski, and steak 'n cheese sub.
Mike: Phillies in 7. I know everybody is on the Tampa bandwagon. Heck, who doesn't like the Rays more than the RedYankAngelSox? But I think Philadelphia wins this series. They've been so close for so long that some toddler expansion team isn't going to stand in their way. This isn't 1997. (On the other hand, just this century, Tampa has brought home the Stanley Cup and a Lombardi Trophy... Is a World Series title the finishing touch before the apocolypse?)
