If this doesn't cheer you up and give you hope for 2009, nothing will.
Yes, this might be the scariest thing you'll see in your lifetime.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Week 17 Picks
Joe's Week 17 Picks
STL +14.5, NE -6.5,KC +3, GB -9.5, IND +3
MIN +6.5,NO -3, CLE +10.5, OAK +13, HOU -2.5
NYJ -3, DAL -1.5, ARI -6, SF -3.5, BAL -12.5, SD -8
Mike's Week 17 Picks
ATL -14.5, NE -6.5, KC +3, DET +9.5, TEN -3
NYG -6.5, CAR +3, PIT -10.5, TB -13, CHI +2.5
MIA +3, PHI -1.5, ARI -6, WAS +3.5,JAX +12.5, DEN +8.
Week 17 Results
Joe: 10-6
Mike: 7-9
2008 Final Standings
Joe: 101-90
Mike: 103-88
A Whopping 13 different picks for this week!
Current Standings
Joe: 1-13 last week (91-84 overall)
Mike: 5-9 last week (96-79 overall)
Thoughts on these games
5. DEN (+8) @ SD
If San Diego wins at home, they will finish the season 8-8 ... and WINNER of the AFC WEST. Way to go, Chargers! That is so pathetic. There should be a rule that teams without a winning record are ineligible for the postseason and a third wildcard team would be added. The entire AFC East is more deserving than any team from the AFC West.
The Chargers are perennial disappointments. Phil Rivers throws like a girl, LT is an average back and the defense is missing their juicer. For Denver, I think Jay Cutler has potential and even Joe could be their running back and survive with that line and running scheme. But they give up so many points. I think the game will be close and so I'll take the Broncos with the points.
Record aside, I do think it's awesome that a divisional crown is to be decided by a head-to-head finish -- and a replay of the season's earlier game where the refs robbed the Chargers.
Joe says, "I hate both teams so its a lose-lost situation. neither really deserves to go to the playoffs but at least san diego will have a better chance to do something. so long as phillip rivers keeps his mouth shut."
4. MIA (+3) @ NYJ
I'm getting totally ripped off on my NFL coverage today. Instead of seeing Brett Favre's final interceptions of his career, I get saddled with Jags at Ravens. Disgusting. There should be a rule that if the local NFL team is eliminated from the playoffs, then the secondary local channel that carried the preseason games will broadcast this game and then CBS or FOX can broadcast their featured game. Let these markets enjoy a game that matters. I might go to a sports bar to see the second half of these games.
Jets fans were so excited earlier this year but knew deep in their hearts that said hearts would somehow be ripped out. I'm rooting for Favre. I'd love to see one more playoff run. But my brain wins this argument. Dolphins in the upset.
Joe says, "I hate joey porter. love brett favre."
3. DAL (+1.5) @ PHI
See above. This game is also absent in my locale as the Redskins/49ers barnburner will be showcased instead. Yes, there should be a rule. I'm missing the two most interesting games of the week just so local TV can show their losers instead. Pah. A POX on YOU NFL!
Whew. Okay. I feel better now. I'm picking the Eagles in this game because it's at Philly. The good news for the Cowboys is that the weather is supposed to be great.
Joe says, "andy reid is horrible but then again so is wade phillips. dallas has more talent so therefore, they win."
2. DET (+9.5) @ GB
Having lived in Michigan, I know many Lion fans. I have a $100 lifetime bet with Brian Seymour if the Lions or the Browns ever win a Super Bowl. And if it's Lions vs Browns in a Super Bowl, it's upped to $500. I feel secure that we will never have to worry about that happening.
That said, I think this is the week. I mean, it HAS to be the week. Playing Green Bay only brings more hope to finding that elusive win. The Packers are terrible and their only motivation in this game is just to not lose to a winless team. I think Detroit will have motivation to avoid a lifetime of notoriety.
Joe says, "i feel bad for calvin johnson and kevin smith, they at least play hard and have been making plays all year. but they still have no chance of winning."
1. CLE (+10.5) @ PIT
The plight of the Browns has given me pause to reconsider my time spent watching grown men playing a child's game.
Joe says, "well depending on who we get as coach and gm we may still see cromeo on the sideline in his best role as D-Coordinator. other than that we are bad and getting worse. thinking about the draft, the only two players i would be considering as the browns first pick are Crabtree or Maualuga from usc. no one else will be satisfying for me."
STL +14.5, NE -6.5,
MIN +6.5,
Mike's Week 17 Picks
MIA +3, PHI -1.5, ARI -6, WAS +3.5,
Week 17 Results
Joe: 10-6
Mike: 7-9
2008 Final Standings
Joe: 101-90
Mike: 103-88
A Whopping 13 different picks for this week!
Current Standings
Joe: 1-13 last week (91-84 overall)
Mike: 5-9 last week (96-79 overall)
Thoughts on these games
5. DEN (+8) @ SD
If San Diego wins at home, they will finish the season 8-8 ... and WINNER of the AFC WEST. Way to go, Chargers! That is so pathetic. There should be a rule that teams without a winning record are ineligible for the postseason and a third wildcard team would be added. The entire AFC East is more deserving than any team from the AFC West.
The Chargers are perennial disappointments. Phil Rivers throws like a girl, LT is an average back and the defense is missing their juicer. For Denver, I think Jay Cutler has potential and even Joe could be their running back and survive with that line and running scheme. But they give up so many points. I think the game will be close and so I'll take the Broncos with the points.
Record aside, I do think it's awesome that a divisional crown is to be decided by a head-to-head finish -- and a replay of the season's earlier game where the refs robbed the Chargers.
Joe says, "I hate both teams so its a lose-lost situation. neither really deserves to go to the playoffs but at least san diego will have a better chance to do something. so long as phillip rivers keeps his mouth shut."
4. MIA (+3) @ NYJ
I'm getting totally ripped off on my NFL coverage today. Instead of seeing Brett Favre's final interceptions of his career, I get saddled with Jags at Ravens. Disgusting. There should be a rule that if the local NFL team is eliminated from the playoffs, then the secondary local channel that carried the preseason games will broadcast this game and then CBS or FOX can broadcast their featured game. Let these markets enjoy a game that matters. I might go to a sports bar to see the second half of these games.
Jets fans were so excited earlier this year but knew deep in their hearts that said hearts would somehow be ripped out. I'm rooting for Favre. I'd love to see one more playoff run. But my brain wins this argument. Dolphins in the upset.
Joe says, "I hate joey porter. love brett favre."
3. DAL (+1.5) @ PHI
See above. This game is also absent in my locale as the Redskins/49ers barnburner will be showcased instead. Yes, there should be a rule. I'm missing the two most interesting games of the week just so local TV can show their losers instead. Pah. A POX on YOU NFL!
Whew. Okay. I feel better now. I'm picking the Eagles in this game because it's at Philly. The good news for the Cowboys is that the weather is supposed to be great.
Joe says, "andy reid is horrible but then again so is wade phillips. dallas has more talent so therefore, they win."
2. DET (+9.5) @ GB
Having lived in Michigan, I know many Lion fans. I have a $100 lifetime bet with Brian Seymour if the Lions or the Browns ever win a Super Bowl. And if it's Lions vs Browns in a Super Bowl, it's upped to $500. I feel secure that we will never have to worry about that happening.
That said, I think this is the week. I mean, it HAS to be the week. Playing Green Bay only brings more hope to finding that elusive win. The Packers are terrible and their only motivation in this game is just to not lose to a winless team. I think Detroit will have motivation to avoid a lifetime of notoriety.
Joe says, "i feel bad for calvin johnson and kevin smith, they at least play hard and have been making plays all year. but they still have no chance of winning."
1. CLE (+10.5) @ PIT
The plight of the Browns has given me pause to reconsider my time spent watching grown men playing a child's game.
Joe says, "well depending on who we get as coach and gm we may still see cromeo on the sideline in his best role as D-Coordinator. other than that we are bad and getting worse. thinking about the draft, the only two players i would be considering as the browns first pick are Crabtree or Maualuga from usc. no one else will be satisfying for me."
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Week 16 Picks
We're getting down to the nitty gritty. Week 16 is here and we're separated by one single pick. Which Miller will prevail?
Current Standings
Joe: 8-7 last week (90-71 overall)
Mike: 10-5 last week (91-70 overall)
(*) Mike made these picks in his money league.
Thursday Night
Indianapolis (-6) at Jacksonville
Mike: IND*
Saturday Night
Baltimore (+4) at Dallas
Mike: BALT*
Sunday Early
Cincinnati (+3) at Cleveland
Joe: CLE. Lets go ahead and pick Cleveland again. I was going to offer Christmas presents to each game but these teams have been naughty and get nothing.
Mike: CIN. I am no wise man but even I know Ken Dorsey is incapable of winning an NFL football game.
New Orleans (-7) at Detroit
Joe: DET. Merry Christmas Detroit, you get a win....well, probably not but you might beat the spread.
Mike: NO. It's a lump of coal for Detroit. I don't think the Lions will even cover the spread. Did you see Tennessee tear them up on Thanksgiving? However, Tennessee and the Saints play entirely differently. That's their only chance.
Pittsburgh (-2) at Tennessee
Joe: PIT. Hopefully Tennessee leaves a steaming bag by the front door of the Steelers home. Unfortunately, Pittsburgh will blow out the Titans.
Mike: PIT. Oh, I don't think it will be a blowout. The Titans will keep this a close, low scoring game to be decided on who has the ball last.
Miami (-4) at Kansas City
Joe: KC. Miami got its Christmas gifts in the form of 9 wins this year and no cold weather games until this week.
Mike: MIA. Good point. But Miami has the spirit of Christmas in them (i.e. Playoff Hopes) unlike the hapless Chiefs.
San Fran (-5.5) at St Louis
Joe: SF. Mike Singletary was quite a present to find for San Fran. Look for a decent season for them next year.
Mike: SF. I agree. I bet Singletary is more Bad Santa than Saint Mike.
Arizona (+7.5) at New England
Joe: NE. Arizona already had its present, playing in the NFC West. The Browns could have been competitive in that division. New England will win out and nearly get to the Super Bowl.
Mike: NE. Oh, nearly? Wouldn't it be something if Matt Cassel wins a Super Bowl MVP? Would that hurt Tom Brady's longterm reputation? Do you think Santa brings toys to Kurt Warner's house or is Santa against his religion?
San Diego (+3.5) at Tampa Bay
Joe: TB. This is a present to myself, San Diego officially out of the playoffs. Hopefully Jeff Garcia is wearing his sexy Santa outfit.
Mike: TB. You are totally obsessed with Jeff Garcia. Would you buy his cologne?
Sunday Late
Buffalo (+7) at Denver
Joe: DEN. Buffalo wasted an early season scheduling present and has sucked since. Denver is not very good but also plays in a weak division.
Mike: DEN. I hate picking Denver to win at anything. I wasn't even happy knowing they were hosting the Democratic National Convention. Now I wish I could change my pick.
Houston (-7) at Oakland
Joe: HOU. Houston sets itself up again for high hopes next year with a strong finish to this season. Watch Cleveland tapes and don't believe the hype.
Mike: HOU. When will Oakland turn it around? That's one team that I hope returns to dominate that AFC West. The NFL is better when the Raiders are strong.
NYJets (-4.5) at Seattle
Joe: NYJ. Everyone wants to pick upset here but I don't see it. I want 2 more months of Favre stories.
Mike: NYJ. I agree. If he wants to play it out like Testaverde did, returning whenever he got a phone call, then let him do it. He's fun to watch even when he's standing on the sidelines.
Atlanta (+3.5) at Minnesota
Joe: MIN. The Vikings need this one and they will win big. Merry Christmas Atlanta, Vick is still in prison.
Mike: MIN. Wow! That was incredibly harsh! With the redawning of the new formations, imagine the value Michael Vick will bring to a team. I would welcome with open arms his arrival to the Browns. Can you imagine Quinn, Vick, Cribbs and ... Beanie Wells in our backfield? (Wow, time for a refill.)
Philadelphia (-5) at Washington
Joe: PHI. Washington has given up. Their coach was a genius earlier and now only is in the mind of Clinton Portis.
Mike: PHI. Yeah, that's what the local sports guys talk about around here. And you know, Cleveland sports talk radio is lightyears better than Redskins Radio. There is one weekly roundtable Redskins show that is good: George Michael, Sonny Jurgenson, John Riggins and Michael Wilbon talking Redskins. That's a good show.
Sunday Night
Carolina (+3) at NY Giants
Joe: CAR. Eli doesn't have a security blanket now. Maybe his daddy can get him to another city like they way they did on draft night.
Mike: NYG. Wow! You can hold a grudge! You know, John Elway did the same thing to Peyton Manning's team. Maybe the Irsays orchestrated Eli's draft dodging.
Monday Night
Green Bay (+4) at Chicago
Joe: CHI. Merry Christmas America, a game that means nothing on Monday night.
Mike: CHI. At least it's not the Browns.
Current Standings
Joe: 8-7 last week (90-71 overall)
Mike: 10-5 last week (91-70 overall)
(*) Mike made these picks in his money league.
Thursday Night
Indianapolis (-6) at Jacksonville
Mike: IND*
Saturday Night
Baltimore (+4) at Dallas
Mike: BALT*
Sunday Early
Cincinnati (+3) at Cleveland
Joe: CLE. Lets go ahead and pick Cleveland again. I was going to offer Christmas presents to each game but these teams have been naughty and get nothing.
Mike: CIN. I am no wise man but even I know Ken Dorsey is incapable of winning an NFL football game.
New Orleans (-7) at Detroit
Joe: DET. Merry Christmas Detroit, you get a win....well, probably not but you might beat the spread.
Mike: NO. It's a lump of coal for Detroit. I don't think the Lions will even cover the spread. Did you see Tennessee tear them up on Thanksgiving? However, Tennessee and the Saints play entirely differently. That's their only chance.
Pittsburgh (-2) at Tennessee
Joe: PIT. Hopefully Tennessee leaves a steaming bag by the front door of the Steelers home. Unfortunately, Pittsburgh will blow out the Titans.
Mike: PIT. Oh, I don't think it will be a blowout. The Titans will keep this a close, low scoring game to be decided on who has the ball last.
Miami (-4) at Kansas City
Joe: KC. Miami got its Christmas gifts in the form of 9 wins this year and no cold weather games until this week.
Mike: MIA. Good point. But Miami has the spirit of Christmas in them (i.e. Playoff Hopes) unlike the hapless Chiefs.
San Fran (-5.5) at St Louis
Joe: SF. Mike Singletary was quite a present to find for San Fran. Look for a decent season for them next year.
Mike: SF. I agree. I bet Singletary is more Bad Santa than Saint Mike.
Arizona (+7.5) at New England
Joe: NE. Arizona already had its present, playing in the NFC West. The Browns could have been competitive in that division. New England will win out and nearly get to the Super Bowl.
Mike: NE. Oh, nearly? Wouldn't it be something if Matt Cassel wins a Super Bowl MVP? Would that hurt Tom Brady's longterm reputation? Do you think Santa brings toys to Kurt Warner's house or is Santa against his religion?
San Diego (+3.5) at Tampa Bay
Joe: TB. This is a present to myself, San Diego officially out of the playoffs. Hopefully Jeff Garcia is wearing his sexy Santa outfit.
Mike: TB. You are totally obsessed with Jeff Garcia. Would you buy his cologne?
Sunday Late
Buffalo (+7) at Denver
Joe: DEN. Buffalo wasted an early season scheduling present and has sucked since. Denver is not very good but also plays in a weak division.
Mike: DEN. I hate picking Denver to win at anything. I wasn't even happy knowing they were hosting the Democratic National Convention. Now I wish I could change my pick.
Houston (-7) at Oakland
Joe: HOU. Houston sets itself up again for high hopes next year with a strong finish to this season. Watch Cleveland tapes and don't believe the hype.
Mike: HOU. When will Oakland turn it around? That's one team that I hope returns to dominate that AFC West. The NFL is better when the Raiders are strong.
NYJets (-4.5) at Seattle
Joe: NYJ. Everyone wants to pick upset here but I don't see it. I want 2 more months of Favre stories.
Mike: NYJ. I agree. If he wants to play it out like Testaverde did, returning whenever he got a phone call, then let him do it. He's fun to watch even when he's standing on the sidelines.
Atlanta (+3.5) at Minnesota
Joe: MIN. The Vikings need this one and they will win big. Merry Christmas Atlanta, Vick is still in prison.
Mike: MIN. Wow! That was incredibly harsh! With the redawning of the new formations, imagine the value Michael Vick will bring to a team. I would welcome with open arms his arrival to the Browns. Can you imagine Quinn, Vick, Cribbs and ... Beanie Wells in our backfield? (Wow, time for a refill.)
Philadelphia (-5) at Washington
Joe: PHI. Washington has given up. Their coach was a genius earlier and now only is in the mind of Clinton Portis.
Mike: PHI. Yeah, that's what the local sports guys talk about around here. And you know, Cleveland sports talk radio is lightyears better than Redskins Radio. There is one weekly roundtable Redskins show that is good: George Michael, Sonny Jurgenson, John Riggins and Michael Wilbon talking Redskins. That's a good show.
Sunday Night
Carolina (+3) at NY Giants
Joe: CAR. Eli doesn't have a security blanket now. Maybe his daddy can get him to another city like they way they did on draft night.
Mike: NYG. Wow! You can hold a grudge! You know, John Elway did the same thing to Peyton Manning's team. Maybe the Irsays orchestrated Eli's draft dodging.
Monday Night
Green Bay (+4) at Chicago
Joe: CHI. Merry Christmas America, a game that means nothing on Monday night.
Mike: CHI. At least it's not the Browns.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Week 15 Picks
By Joe Miller
Special to Krukster.com
I don't really know where my mind will be for this. I just woke up not too long ago, watched the movie See Spot Run with huge stars, David Arquette, the kid from 2.5 Men, and a Dog. I would still rank that movie many spots ahead of the new Indiana Jones movie, talk about ruining a series, that was horrible. I was able to stay awake for maybe 30 minutes and then woke up for the closing credits (best part of the movie). Pretty sure they decided to make every scene look fake and kill any credibility Dr. Jones had in the archeological community. Yes, I believe he is real, well I did 'til Lucas & Spielberg killed that dream a couple nights ago.
Then to make matters worse Mission Impossible III was on TV last night. There are way too many jokes to go through with this horrible movie so I will stick to the standard, "the impossible mission was making it through this movie without a gunshot wound to the head." I will give MI:III (even the shorthand version of the title is ridiculously stupid) some credit, it does rank a few spots ahead of the second movie of the series. Mission Impossible 2, in my opinion, is one of the 2-3 worst movies I have ever scene. From the crazy unrealistic "action" sequences to the worst lines ever heard in a movie, including this doozy from one of the greatest actors of any time Tom Cruise "I will come for you" as he let's the bad guy take the girl away. Damn, I hate that movie. What a waste. I really wanted to sue Hollywood for that one. Right up there on the wasted date column with 2 Fast 2 Furious. Damn you Paul Walker and your dreamy golden locks.
Now you may be wondering what this has to do with this weeks picks and I am here to tell you, not a damn thing. We could make a stretch though and say this horribleness that Hollywood loves to put us through for the most part relates to much of the NFL. This league of parity only is so when you don't have owners who are idiots. Maybe they should have to take some sort of test to see if they have ANY knowledge of football. They can still own the team if they fail but the have to give up some of their power and they aren't allowed to be interviewed about football. Yes, I am bitter because the Browns were one of these teams that was supposed to take advantage of this so called parity but apparently as every sports writer keeps pointing out, we were fooled by the schedule that was easier than Paris Hilton on Prom night, Derek Anderson playing like Jon Moxon (that's a Varsity Blues reference Mike, watch it, its an awesome HS football movie), and Braylon Edwards catching footballs the way Dirty Harry used to catch criminals. So having said all this, all I can say is be careful with high expectations. Hollywood, the NFL, and many other things usually aren't nearly as good as you expect them to be. Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2008 Cleveland Browns...
Sunday's Games
Tampa Bay (+3) at Atlanta
Joe: ATL. Atlanta was the sight of my "sickest day after partying" EVER. It makes me sick that Atlanta has risen this high this fast but these are the fates of life-long Browns fans.
Mike: ATL. This isn't a matchup I normally care about. I suppose I feel more of a connection with Tampa Bay but with Garcia injured, I have to pick Atlanta to keep the worst-to-first NFC South tradition alive.
Washington (-7) at Cincinnati
Joe: WAS. Cincinnati has thrown in the towel on this toilet bowl season for them. I can't see them scoring more than 3-7 points in this one. The Redskins will take out their frustration on whoever the quarterback will be for the horrible, horrible Bengals. Is Chad Johnson still alive??? I could have sworn he was a receiver in this league....maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
Mike: WAS. The Skins are in a tough division while the Bengals would be bad in any division. I can see the Bengals getting thumped at home.
Detroit (+17) at Indianapolis
Joe: IND. They continue their run and Detroit continues their run. Well ok not some much of a run as a slow limping walk to the finish line. At least they have figured out that they have a freak on the outside in Calvin Johnson, who is absolutely unguardable. So next year you will be hearing a lot of Stafford to Johnson, after Detroit uses the #1 pick to ruin another promising young star.
Mike: DET. Points, points, points. C'mon Lions! Let's cover that spread! This is like putting all your money on a three legged horse to show in a four horse race.
San Diego (-5) at Kansas City
Joe: KC. San Diego puts up another stinker and I am on the Tyler Thigpen bandwagon. I remember the beginning of the season when Thigpen was only good for reference to the former record-holding closer and now he's not really good for much more but at least he has been alright. Better than DA at least.
Mike: SD. The Chargers are, perennially, the most disappointing team in football. What a stinker of a game this one is. I suppose the Chargers keep their slim wildcard hopes alive.
Seattle (E) at St Louis
Joe: SEA. This matchup is what the opening was all about. Millions of dollars and a pile of crap.
Mike: SEA. Another lousy game. Seahawks get the edge at home.
San Fran (+6.5) at Miami
Joe: MIA. Dolphins keep winning. I don't understand it but they do. Mike throws harder than Pennington and might even be able to beat him up. Yet, every week they seem to be in the game and come out on top more often than not. Sorry mike, can't say the same about you. I really am sorry, I was taking my Browns frustration out on you....when really I just hate Joey Porter.
Mike: SF. Yes, I'm picking a Singletary resurgency towards respectability for these 49ers. Miami has had a great run but it is shattered at Dolphin Stadium.
Buffalo (+7) at NYJets
Joe: NYJ. Well Buffalo is either going to score 45 or 7. Either way I think the Jets win. This is Favre time. We need to have a 3-way tie in the AFC East going to the final week. Let's decide the winner of the division the way the Big 12 does, whoever has the higher power ranking on ESPN get's to be the division winner and go on to the playoffs. Stupid College!!!
Mike: NYJ. Favre's looked flat lately but now that the pressure is mounting, I think he still has a spark left. The playoffs start now. This is why he came back.
Green Bay (-2.5) at Jacksonville
Joe: GB. Rodgers will show flashes again. Jacksonville will show they have quit on the season. They need to win, let the Browns have that higher pick so we can waste it again. I'm almost scared of Draft Day. Maybe we should go on a vacation on that day so we cannot cheer or boo any pick they screw up.
Mike: GB. It's the time of the season for irrelevant football. Unless you have guys on your fantasy team playing in this game, there's no reason to watch, nay, even think about it. Next...
Tennessee (-3) at Houston
Joe: HOU. I believe in Slaton. After watching the Browns stay in the game until the 4th quarter with no defense and no offense, I lost faith in Tennessee as having any chance in the playoffs. I see a home loss for them in their first game. Sorry Titans, no miracle this year.
Mike: TEN. First it's Obama succeeding Houston's Bush and now it's the former Oilers clinching homefield in Houston. Texas isn't very happy right about now.
Minnesota (E) at Arizona
Joe: MIN. If Arizona had a defense I would pick them easily, but Peterson has been relatively bottled up this year despite leading the league in rushing. I could see him going over 200yds this week.
Mike: MIN. The Cardinals have clinched simply by guaranteeing themselves a non-losing 8-8 record. The Vikings, however, want this game more.
New England (-7) at Oakland
Joe: NE. Oakland, another reason for the opening. New England will stay with the pack in the AFC East.
Mike: NE. Just like the US going after those Somalian pirates in real life, football's Patriots are out to destroy those silver and black shells of themselves Raiders.
Denver (+7.5) at Carolina
Joe: CAR. Denver is backing their way into the playoffs. This is why I am hoping for a San Diego loss this week, that way there is no chance they can make the playoffs. No One wants to see a Chargers-Broncos week 17 game where getting to .500 will get you into the playoffs. Horrible.
Mike: CAR. Check out those Panthers. Remember when Steve Smith clocked his teammate and was suspended the first two games? Now I wish Donte Stallworth would have punched Braylon in the face instead of just stepping on his barefeet with his cleats. Yea, Browns.
Pittsburgh (+2) at Baltimore
Joe: BAL. We hate to admit it but this is where we want to be. Enough said.
Mike: PIT. The AFC North still belongs to the Steelers. The Ravens fall short of regaining their tiara.
NYGiants (+3) at Dallas
Joe: NYG. I didn't think it was possible but I hate the Cowboys more after this past week.
Mike: DAL. The Cowboys are in disarray and that's exactly how they like it. Watch them turn this soap opera around. Tears and hugs everywhere with Terrell, Tony and Jason.
Cleveland (+14) at Philadelphia
Joe: CLE. Battle of the worst management head coaches in the NFL. This should be interesting. I hope neither half requires clock management or we could see 6 timeouts in under a minute or ZERO, who knows!!! We will see a lot of Cribbs this week, we have to...please God let us see more of him. Pretty sure we saw more of Dorsey and will see more of Dorsey than we will see for the rest of his "career." I don't really know what to say about this matchup. Poor Monday Night Football. Kornheiser has to be struggling to put together an essay for this one.
Mike: CLE. This is the dumbest Thinking With My Heart pick of the entire season. What gives me any reason to think that the Browns could score a touchdown with that offense? Why would I think that the Browns defense can stop a pissy McNabb. Well, the Eagles will be without Brian Westbrook and that will help. Plus, the Browns seem to run better without Winslow. I think this helps Cleveland stay within two touchdowns. (Err.)
Special to Krukster.com
I don't really know where my mind will be for this. I just woke up not too long ago, watched the movie See Spot Run with huge stars, David Arquette, the kid from 2.5 Men, and a Dog. I would still rank that movie many spots ahead of the new Indiana Jones movie, talk about ruining a series, that was horrible. I was able to stay awake for maybe 30 minutes and then woke up for the closing credits (best part of the movie). Pretty sure they decided to make every scene look fake and kill any credibility Dr. Jones had in the archeological community. Yes, I believe he is real, well I did 'til Lucas & Spielberg killed that dream a couple nights ago.
Then to make matters worse Mission Impossible III was on TV last night. There are way too many jokes to go through with this horrible movie so I will stick to the standard, "the impossible mission was making it through this movie without a gunshot wound to the head." I will give MI:III (even the shorthand version of the title is ridiculously stupid) some credit, it does rank a few spots ahead of the second movie of the series. Mission Impossible 2, in my opinion, is one of the 2-3 worst movies I have ever scene. From the crazy unrealistic "action" sequences to the worst lines ever heard in a movie, including this doozy from one of the greatest actors of any time Tom Cruise "I will come for you" as he let's the bad guy take the girl away. Damn, I hate that movie. What a waste. I really wanted to sue Hollywood for that one. Right up there on the wasted date column with 2 Fast 2 Furious. Damn you Paul Walker and your dreamy golden locks.
Now you may be wondering what this has to do with this weeks picks and I am here to tell you, not a damn thing. We could make a stretch though and say this horribleness that Hollywood loves to put us through for the most part relates to much of the NFL. This league of parity only is so when you don't have owners who are idiots. Maybe they should have to take some sort of test to see if they have ANY knowledge of football. They can still own the team if they fail but the have to give up some of their power and they aren't allowed to be interviewed about football. Yes, I am bitter because the Browns were one of these teams that was supposed to take advantage of this so called parity but apparently as every sports writer keeps pointing out, we were fooled by the schedule that was easier than Paris Hilton on Prom night, Derek Anderson playing like Jon Moxon (that's a Varsity Blues reference Mike, watch it, its an awesome HS football movie), and Braylon Edwards catching footballs the way Dirty Harry used to catch criminals. So having said all this, all I can say is be careful with high expectations. Hollywood, the NFL, and many other things usually aren't nearly as good as you expect them to be. Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2008 Cleveland Browns...
Sunday's Games
Tampa Bay (+3) at Atlanta
Joe: ATL. Atlanta was the sight of my "sickest day after partying" EVER. It makes me sick that Atlanta has risen this high this fast but these are the fates of life-long Browns fans.
Mike: ATL. This isn't a matchup I normally care about. I suppose I feel more of a connection with Tampa Bay but with Garcia injured, I have to pick Atlanta to keep the worst-to-first NFC South tradition alive.
Washington (-7) at Cincinnati
Joe: WAS. Cincinnati has thrown in the towel on this toilet bowl season for them. I can't see them scoring more than 3-7 points in this one. The Redskins will take out their frustration on whoever the quarterback will be for the horrible, horrible Bengals. Is Chad Johnson still alive??? I could have sworn he was a receiver in this league....maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
Mike: WAS. The Skins are in a tough division while the Bengals would be bad in any division. I can see the Bengals getting thumped at home.
Detroit (+17) at Indianapolis
Joe: IND. They continue their run and Detroit continues their run. Well ok not some much of a run as a slow limping walk to the finish line. At least they have figured out that they have a freak on the outside in Calvin Johnson, who is absolutely unguardable. So next year you will be hearing a lot of Stafford to Johnson, after Detroit uses the #1 pick to ruin another promising young star.
Mike: DET. Points, points, points. C'mon Lions! Let's cover that spread! This is like putting all your money on a three legged horse to show in a four horse race.
San Diego (-5) at Kansas City
Joe: KC. San Diego puts up another stinker and I am on the Tyler Thigpen bandwagon. I remember the beginning of the season when Thigpen was only good for reference to the former record-holding closer and now he's not really good for much more but at least he has been alright. Better than DA at least.
Mike: SD. The Chargers are, perennially, the most disappointing team in football. What a stinker of a game this one is. I suppose the Chargers keep their slim wildcard hopes alive.
Seattle (E) at St Louis
Joe: SEA. This matchup is what the opening was all about. Millions of dollars and a pile of crap.
Mike: SEA. Another lousy game. Seahawks get the edge at home.
San Fran (+6.5) at Miami
Joe: MIA. Dolphins keep winning. I don't understand it but they do. Mike throws harder than Pennington and might even be able to beat him up. Yet, every week they seem to be in the game and come out on top more often than not. Sorry mike, can't say the same about you. I really am sorry, I was taking my Browns frustration out on you....when really I just hate Joey Porter.
Mike: SF. Yes, I'm picking a Singletary resurgency towards respectability for these 49ers. Miami has had a great run but it is shattered at Dolphin Stadium.
Buffalo (+7) at NYJets
Joe: NYJ. Well Buffalo is either going to score 45 or 7. Either way I think the Jets win. This is Favre time. We need to have a 3-way tie in the AFC East going to the final week. Let's decide the winner of the division the way the Big 12 does, whoever has the higher power ranking on ESPN get's to be the division winner and go on to the playoffs. Stupid College!!!
Mike: NYJ. Favre's looked flat lately but now that the pressure is mounting, I think he still has a spark left. The playoffs start now. This is why he came back.
Green Bay (-2.5) at Jacksonville
Joe: GB. Rodgers will show flashes again. Jacksonville will show they have quit on the season. They need to win, let the Browns have that higher pick so we can waste it again. I'm almost scared of Draft Day. Maybe we should go on a vacation on that day so we cannot cheer or boo any pick they screw up.
Mike: GB. It's the time of the season for irrelevant football. Unless you have guys on your fantasy team playing in this game, there's no reason to watch, nay, even think about it. Next...
Tennessee (-3) at Houston
Joe: HOU. I believe in Slaton. After watching the Browns stay in the game until the 4th quarter with no defense and no offense, I lost faith in Tennessee as having any chance in the playoffs. I see a home loss for them in their first game. Sorry Titans, no miracle this year.
Mike: TEN. First it's Obama succeeding Houston's Bush and now it's the former Oilers clinching homefield in Houston. Texas isn't very happy right about now.
Minnesota (E) at Arizona
Joe: MIN. If Arizona had a defense I would pick them easily, but Peterson has been relatively bottled up this year despite leading the league in rushing. I could see him going over 200yds this week.
Mike: MIN. The Cardinals have clinched simply by guaranteeing themselves a non-losing 8-8 record. The Vikings, however, want this game more.
New England (-7) at Oakland
Joe: NE. Oakland, another reason for the opening. New England will stay with the pack in the AFC East.
Mike: NE. Just like the US going after those Somalian pirates in real life, football's Patriots are out to destroy those silver and black shells of themselves Raiders.
Denver (+7.5) at Carolina
Joe: CAR. Denver is backing their way into the playoffs. This is why I am hoping for a San Diego loss this week, that way there is no chance they can make the playoffs. No One wants to see a Chargers-Broncos week 17 game where getting to .500 will get you into the playoffs. Horrible.
Mike: CAR. Check out those Panthers. Remember when Steve Smith clocked his teammate and was suspended the first two games? Now I wish Donte Stallworth would have punched Braylon in the face instead of just stepping on his barefeet with his cleats. Yea, Browns.
Pittsburgh (+2) at Baltimore
Joe: BAL. We hate to admit it but this is where we want to be. Enough said.
Mike: PIT. The AFC North still belongs to the Steelers. The Ravens fall short of regaining their tiara.
NYGiants (+3) at Dallas
Joe: NYG. I didn't think it was possible but I hate the Cowboys more after this past week.
Mike: DAL. The Cowboys are in disarray and that's exactly how they like it. Watch them turn this soap opera around. Tears and hugs everywhere with Terrell, Tony and Jason.
Cleveland (+14) at Philadelphia
Joe: CLE. Battle of the worst management head coaches in the NFL. This should be interesting. I hope neither half requires clock management or we could see 6 timeouts in under a minute or ZERO, who knows!!! We will see a lot of Cribbs this week, we have to...please God let us see more of him. Pretty sure we saw more of Dorsey and will see more of Dorsey than we will see for the rest of his "career." I don't really know what to say about this matchup. Poor Monday Night Football. Kornheiser has to be struggling to put together an essay for this one.
Mike: CLE. This is the dumbest Thinking With My Heart pick of the entire season. What gives me any reason to think that the Browns could score a touchdown with that offense? Why would I think that the Browns defense can stop a pissy McNabb. Well, the Eagles will be without Brian Westbrook and that will help. Plus, the Browns seem to run better without Winslow. I think this helps Cleveland stay within two touchdowns. (Err.)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Week 15 Picks -- Thursday Night
Thursday Night Football
New Orleans (+3) at Chicago
Joe: NO. Da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears ... will be in Ditka's doghouse after Brees gets done with them tonight in the Windy City. Sorry Chicago, no division for you.
Mike: NO. The Saints are in desperation mode. They pulled off a must-win last week and need to keep it rolling to have a chance at a playoff spot. If Soldier Field is in good shape, then the postponed-suspended Saints (Deuce, Smith, etc.) have a chance. Remember though, last time the Saints were desperate for a win in Chicago, the Bears forced New Orleans into multiple turnovers en route to win the 2006 NFC Championship. Saints seek revenge and get it on Thursday Night.
New Orleans (+3) at Chicago
Joe: NO. Da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears, da bears ... will be in Ditka's doghouse after Brees gets done with them tonight in the Windy City. Sorry Chicago, no division for you.
Mike: NO. The Saints are in desperation mode. They pulled off a must-win last week and need to keep it rolling to have a chance at a playoff spot. If Soldier Field is in good shape, then the postponed-suspended Saints (Deuce, Smith, etc.) have a chance. Remember though, last time the Saints were desperate for a win in Chicago, the Bears forced New Orleans into multiple turnovers en route to win the 2006 NFC Championship. Saints seek revenge and get it on Thursday Night.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Standings Bulletin
Joe has taken the lead in the 2008 NFL Picks Challenge.
Joe now leads the overall standings with a 82-64 record (56.1%).
Mike is in second place with a 81-65 record (55.4%).
Nobody is in third place. The world must be ending.
Joe now leads the overall standings with a 82-64 record (56.1%).
Mike is in second place with a 81-65 record (55.4%).
Nobody is in third place. The world must be ending.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Week 14 Picks
The more horrible Cleveland becomes, the less interest I have in this blog. And now Coach Ditka has put the Browns Fans into the Doghouse. Man, it's getting bad. Check back around Spring Training.
Split Picks:
Atlanta (+1.5) at New Orleans
Mike: ATL, Joe: NO
Philadelphia (+8) at NY Giants
Mike: PHI, Joe: NYG
Kansas City (+7.5) at Denver
Mike: KC; Joe: DEN
St Louis (-13) at Arizona
Mike: STL, Joe: ARI
Dallas (+2) at Pittsburgh
Mike: Dallas, Joe: Pitt
Unanimous picks:
Jacksonville (+6.5) at Chicago = CHI
Minnesota (-7) at Detroit = MIN
Houston (+8) at Green Bay = GB
Cleveland (+10.5) at Tennessee = TENN
Cincinnati (+12) at Indianapolis = IND
Miami (-1) at Buffalo in Toronto = MIAMI
NY Jets (-7) at San Francisco = NYJ
New England (-7) at Seattle = NE
Washington (+6.5) at Baltimore = BALT
Tampa Bay (E) at Carolina = CAR
Split Picks:
Atlanta (+1.5) at New Orleans
Mike: ATL, Joe: NO
Philadelphia (+8) at NY Giants
Mike: PHI, Joe: NYG
Kansas City (+7.5) at Denver
Mike: KC; Joe: DEN
St Louis (-13) at Arizona
Mike: STL, Joe: ARI
Dallas (+2) at Pittsburgh
Mike: Dallas, Joe: Pitt
Unanimous picks:
Jacksonville (+6.5) at Chicago = CHI
Minnesota (-7) at Detroit = MIN
Houston (+8) at Green Bay = GB
Cleveland (+10.5) at Tennessee = TENN
Cincinnati (+12) at Indianapolis = IND
Miami (-1) at Buffalo in Toronto = MIAMI
NY Jets (-7) at San Francisco = NYJ
New England (-7) at Seattle = NE
Washington (+6.5) at Baltimore = BALT
Tampa Bay (E) at Carolina = CAR
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Week 13 Picks
I think Joe forgot all about his picks. I better give him a call.
Denver (+7) at NY Jets
Joe: NYJ
Mike: NYJ. Jay Cutler is no John Elway. But Brett Favre is.
San Fran (+7) at Buffalo
Joe: BUF.
Mike: BUF. Bills at home are tough to beat.
New Orleans (+3) at Tampa Bay
Joe: NO.
Mike: NO. Saints continue to roll in a must-win game.
Carolina (+3) at Green Bay
Joe: GB.
Mike: CAR. People forget the Panthers are having a great year.
NYGiants (-3) at Washington
Joe: NYG.
Mike: WAS. Way to go, Plax. Idiot.
Miami (E) at St Louis
Joe: Mia.
Mike: MIA. Dolphins continue their unlikely march to the playoffs.
Baltimore (-7) at Cincinnati
Joe: Balt
Mike: BAL. Bengals already have their win and their tie.
Indianapolis (-4) at Cleveland
Joe: Cle
Mike: IND. Browns continue the downward spiral.
Atlanta (+5) at San Diego
Joe: ATL
Mike: SD. Chargers stay in contention.
Pittsburgh (+1) at New England
Joe: NE
Mike: PIT. Tough game decided on final possession.
Kansas City (+3) at Oakland
Joe: KC
Mike: OAK. Raiders have been playing a lot better.
Chicago (+3) at Minnesota
Joe: Min
Mike: MIN. Peterson will continue to shred the Bears.
Monday
Jacksonville (+3) at Houston
Joe: HOU
Mike: JAX. The Texans aren't nearly as good as the Browns made them appear.
Denver (+7) at NY Jets
Joe: NYJ
Mike: NYJ. Jay Cutler is no John Elway. But Brett Favre is.
San Fran (+7) at Buffalo
Joe: BUF.
Mike: BUF. Bills at home are tough to beat.
New Orleans (+3) at Tampa Bay
Joe: NO.
Mike: NO. Saints continue to roll in a must-win game.
Carolina (+3) at Green Bay
Joe: GB.
Mike: CAR. People forget the Panthers are having a great year.
NYGiants (-3) at Washington
Joe: NYG.
Mike: WAS. Way to go, Plax. Idiot.
Miami (E) at St Louis
Joe: Mia.
Mike: MIA. Dolphins continue their unlikely march to the playoffs.
Baltimore (-7) at Cincinnati
Joe: Balt
Mike: BAL. Bengals already have their win and their tie.
Indianapolis (-4) at Cleveland
Joe: Cle
Mike: IND. Browns continue the downward spiral.
Atlanta (+5) at San Diego
Joe: ATL
Mike: SD. Chargers stay in contention.
Pittsburgh (+1) at New England
Joe: NE
Mike: PIT. Tough game decided on final possession.
Kansas City (+3) at Oakland
Joe: KC
Mike: OAK. Raiders have been playing a lot better.
Chicago (+3) at Minnesota
Joe: Min
Mike: MIN. Peterson will continue to shred the Bears.
Monday
Jacksonville (+3) at Houston
Joe: HOU
Mike: JAX. The Texans aren't nearly as good as the Browns made them appear.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Week 13 Postseason Predictions
Joe's Playoff Predictions:
AFC Div Winners:NYJ, PITT, TENN, DEN
AFC Wildcard:IND, NE
NFC Div Winners:NYG, GB, CAR, ARI
NFC Wildcards:TB, DAL
Super Bowl Prediction: NYJ def NYG, 23-21
Mike's Playoff Predictions:
AFC Div Winners: NE, PITT, TENN, DEN
AFC Wildcard: NYJ, IND
NFC Div Winners: NYG, MIN, ATL, AZ
NFC Wildcards: CAR, NO
Super Bowl Prediction: NYG def PITT, 31-17
AFC Div Winners:NYJ, PITT, TENN, DEN
AFC Wildcard:IND, NE
NFC Div Winners:NYG, GB, CAR, ARI
NFC Wildcards:TB, DAL
Super Bowl Prediction: NYJ def NYG, 23-21
Mike's Playoff Predictions:
AFC Div Winners: NE, PITT, TENN, DEN
AFC Wildcard: NYJ, IND
NFC Div Winners: NYG, MIN, ATL, AZ
NFC Wildcards: CAR, NO
Super Bowl Prediction: NYG def PITT, 31-17
Thanksgiving Day Picks
Last Week:
Joe: 12-4 (62-53 overall)
Mike: 9-7 (64-55 overall)
Week 13 Picks
Thanksgiving Games
Tennessee (-11) at Detroit
Joe: TEN. I'm thankful I don't live in Detroit. Just can't see the Lions summoning the ghost of Scott Mitchell and Barry Sanders to keep this one close. Expect the Titans to go well over 200yds rushing and break it open in the 2nd half. Culpepper and Johnson keep it close in the 1st.
Mike: TEN. I saw a video today of a Lion fan being taunted off a bus packed with Tampa fans -- in Detroit! The Lions will not win this game nor will they win any other. Meanwhile, the Titans are thankful for this turkey matchup to get back on track. Then they get a long week to prepare for the Browns.
Seattle (+13) at Dallas
Joe: DAL. Even more thankful I don't live in Seattle. TO loves holidays and all the attention that comes along with it. All I really want to see is lots of cuts to JSimpson jumping. Ah, I miss the Man Show.
Mike: DAL. The Cowboys need this win to stay alive in the playoff chase. You know Tony is thankful to be playing rather than sitting at the Simpson's dinner table. In Seattle, Mike Holmgren is having a nightmare final season. Thank God it's almost over.
Arizona (+3) at Philadelphia
Joe: ARI. I'm thankful Andy Reid isn't a coach in Cleveland. Our situation isn't much better but he has had way more talented teams and managed to foul up every situation nearly to Cromeo levels. Philly keeps it close in the 1st half but Mcnabb continues to stuggle and I call a 15% chance we see "Corn on the" Kolb by the end of the game.
Mike: AZ. Here's my darkhorse Super Bowl candidate: The Arizona Cardinals. If Kurt Warner wins another Super Bowl, does that put him into the HOF? Do you think McNabb is thankful to be back as starter?
Joe: 12-4 (62-53 overall)
Mike: 9-7 (64-55 overall)
Week 13 Picks
Thanksgiving Games
Tennessee (-11) at Detroit
Joe: TEN. I'm thankful I don't live in Detroit. Just can't see the Lions summoning the ghost of Scott Mitchell and Barry Sanders to keep this one close. Expect the Titans to go well over 200yds rushing and break it open in the 2nd half. Culpepper and Johnson keep it close in the 1st.
Mike: TEN. I saw a video today of a Lion fan being taunted off a bus packed with Tampa fans -- in Detroit! The Lions will not win this game nor will they win any other. Meanwhile, the Titans are thankful for this turkey matchup to get back on track. Then they get a long week to prepare for the Browns.
Seattle (+13) at Dallas
Joe: DAL. Even more thankful I don't live in Seattle. TO loves holidays and all the attention that comes along with it. All I really want to see is lots of cuts to JSimpson jumping. Ah, I miss the Man Show.
Mike: DAL. The Cowboys need this win to stay alive in the playoff chase. You know Tony is thankful to be playing rather than sitting at the Simpson's dinner table. In Seattle, Mike Holmgren is having a nightmare final season. Thank God it's almost over.
Arizona (+3) at Philadelphia
Joe: ARI. I'm thankful Andy Reid isn't a coach in Cleveland. Our situation isn't much better but he has had way more talented teams and managed to foul up every situation nearly to Cromeo levels. Philly keeps it close in the 1st half but Mcnabb continues to stuggle and I call a 15% chance we see "Corn on the" Kolb by the end of the game.
Mike: AZ. Here's my darkhorse Super Bowl candidate: The Arizona Cardinals. If Kurt Warner wins another Super Bowl, does that put him into the HOF? Do you think McNabb is thankful to be back as starter?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Delinquent Week 12 Picks
This is terrible. To the loyal Krukster.com reader(s), my sincere apologies for not posting these earlier. You know, like, before the games were actually played. We each made our picks before the games were played. But as I had a grand voyage from Virginia to Ohio with no internet access, these had to wait.
Since these games have been completed, I have bolded the point spread winners.
Last Week:
Since these games have been completed, I have bolded the point spread winners.
Last Week:
Joe: 10-6 (50-49 overall)
Mike: 10-6 (55-44 overall)
Week 12 Picks
Houston (+3) at Cleveland
Joe: CLE. I'm a little afraid we may feel the rath of Sage Rosenfels, I mean, there are firsts for everything. That's kind of like the wrath of a child, you know they are pissed and trying with all there might but all their effort makes no difference because they lack in key areas. I'm hoping for 30+ points each since Mr. Michael Miller and I will be in the stands (albeit way farther away from the field than I had hoped), thanks for the tickets bro.
Mike: CLE. Team MVPs Josh Cribbs, Steve Heiden, James Harrison, Shawn Rogers and Phil Dawson will lead the way in this high scoring game.
Mike: CLE. Team MVPs Josh Cribbs, Steve Heiden, James Harrison, Shawn Rogers and Phil Dawson will lead the way in this high scoring game.
Buffalo (-3) at Kansas City
Joe: KC. Buffalo continues its slide. The Browns game will be the last chance at a win for Buffalo as the city of Toronto licks its French-Canadian lips (whorishly) awaiting this NFL franchise's (franchii) arrival in 2012. Who didn't feel a little bad for Jim Kelly last monday as he had to watch in-person as another game-winning 47yd FG sails wide right?? I know as a Cleveland fan, it felt like a loss to me. On a brighter note it made me remember those great Buffalo teams of the early 90s, most notably I missed Darryl Talley's Sol-Glo Mullet that had to have left a stain on his jersey every week. "So let your SSSSOOOOOOOOOUUUUUULLLLL GLO.....Sol-Glo"
Mike: BUF. The terrible losing streak will end for the Bills. The Chiefs continue to be terrible.
NYJets (+5) at Tennessee
NYJets (+5) at Tennessee
NYJ. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets. Kerry Collins is bound to have a Kerry Collins-type game at some point this year, right??? Something crazy is going to happen, I just have that feeling like whenever I see a Pauly Shore movie on TV I know it has to suck.
Mike: TEN. There's something about those Titans.
New England (+1) at Miami
Mike: TEN. There's something about those Titans.
New England (+1) at Miami
Joe: NE. Normally I would have had to pick Miami but due to the fact that I just picked up Matt Cassel and have him as my starter in fantasy this week I need to build confidence. He emailed me and wanted me to name drop him this week so there ya go Matt, Good Luck. That, and I Hate Joey Porter a little more each week. Can he not keep his mouth shut so that people can actually see that he is a pretty good player?? Instead all I wish is that William Green would have knocked his ass out a few years ago or at least planted some pot on him.
Mike: NE. Revenge belongs to the Pats.
San Francisco (+10) at Dallas
San Francisco (+10) at Dallas
Joe: DAL. Would Tony Romo have gone to a movie with a homeless guy in San Fran?? I think not. You know he would have ended up on some LSD trip and had a night like Neil Patrick Harris in either one of the Harold and Kumar movies. I think NPH and Tony Romo should hook up and do a show together. I just want to see how long before either a NPH steals Jessica "Buffalo Wing" Simpson from Tony OR we get a sex-tape three-some filmed by a homeless guy....that's the world I want to live in.
Mike: DAL. Just who do the 49ers think they are?
Tampa Bay (-9) at Detroit
Tampa Bay (-9) at Detroit
Joe: TB. Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'....De-Troit is a rollin', well not so much rollin' as suckin', that felt good to me to get that out. Can a team really go 0-16 in this league of parody?? YES THEY CAN, and they will.
Mike: DET. Will the Lions win? No. Duh. But will they lose a heartbreaker? Oh yes.
Philadelphia (+1) at Baltimore
Philadelphia (+1) at Baltimore
Joe: BAL. I'm so pissed at Philly for sucking everytime I pick them that I am taking Baltimore. I have been on the "What's a Tie" McNabb express all year and I have had enough. Baltimore, do us a favor and knock that QB into next season. Let the Kevin Kolb era begin...
Mike: PHI. The Ravens have been overachievers this season.
Chicago (-9) at St Louis
Chicago (-9) at St Louis
Joe: CHI. StL has pretty much given up so unless Sexy Kyle throws up a Sexy Rexy performance I can't see this one being close. By the Sword of Urlacher I swear it will be done.
Mike: STL. If this was in Chicago, St Louis wouldn't score. Rams keep in close at home.
Minnesota (+2) at Jacksonville
Minnesota (+2) at Jacksonville
Joe: MIN. Minnesota is hanging onto playoff thoughts by a thread. Is this the week they fall into the abyss?? What the hell am I talking about?? Sorry about that, anyway, I'm going to go out on a huge limb and say that Peterson will rush the ball lots and lots and lots leading to a win a win a win.
Mike: JAX. Jinx and I take the Jags at home.
Carolina (+1) at Atlanta
Carolina (+1) at Atlanta
Joe: CAR. Will this be a showing week of how far Atlanta has come. No, no it will not. Carolina is playing like its 1999, that doesn't mean anything but I like Prince.
Mike: ATL. Falcons keep the NFC South streak alive.
Oakland (+10) at Denver
Oakland (+10) at Denver
Joe: DEN. Oakland 2 offensive TDs in last 6 games, offensive. Denver got the in the last quarter against the Browns while trailing. (tear) This game will be what the Denver needs to get it out of the bottom of the league in defense and into the upper-bottom of the league in defense.
Mike: OAK. The Raiders must be absolutely terrible if they're 9 pt dogs to runningbackless Denver.
Washington (-3) at Seattle
Washington (-3) at Seattle
Joe: WAS. Don't quite understand the line on this one. Hasselbeck will be back but this is Seattle, where between the Seahawks, Washington U, and Washington State they are an awesome 3-28. Better luck next year Pacific Northwest.
Mike: WAS. Even with the Hassle back, the Seahawks will get drubbed at home.
NY Giants (-3) at Arizona
NY Giants (-3) at Arizona
Joe: NYG. I really wanted to pick Arizona because I like them and I love that they have a guy that broke his face, sat out 2 weeks, and now still goes over the middle. Greatest thing ever. But I can't see the Giants leaving Arizona or finishing the season for that matter with their only two or two of their losses being to Cleveland and Arizona. And Brandon Jacobs is an absolute BEAST.
Mike: NYG. Look out, Anquan. The Giants are gonna break your face.
Indianapolis (+3) at San Diego
Indianapolis (+3) at San Diego
Joe: IND. This is the end, my only friend, the end. Sorry Norv Turner, you are done. Unless Tomlinson goes Slaton on Indy, Manning will blow this one open.
Mike: IND. Peyton rallies the troops to offset LTs 200 yard game.
Green Bay (+2) at New Orleans
Green Bay (+2) at New Orleans
Joe: NO. If 65 was the bar, I'm taking the over. A lot of passing, a lot of deep passing, and a little bit of voodoo lead to Brees over Favre Jr.
Mike: GB. Saints are too bashed up.
Mike: GB. Saints are too bashed up.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Week 12 Thursday Night Pick
Cincinnati is a 10 pt underdog to Pittsburgh -- and we're both taking the Steelers to cover tonight. Ryan Fitzpatrick is terrible and Chad Ochenta Cinco has been benched.
Joe wrote:
[16:47] jomilla12: I pick pittsburgh, don't care what the spread is....cincinnatti will cross the 50 maybe once tonight
[16:47] jomilla12: there will be more cincy sacks than points
[16:48] jomilla12: there is my pick for tonight
[16:48] jomilla12: i can work on the rest tomorrow
[16:48] jomilla12: what a horrible nfl network game
So there you have it. The rest of the picks coming tomororow...
Joe wrote:
[16:47] jomilla12: I pick pittsburgh, don't care what the spread is....cincinnatti will cross the 50 maybe once tonight
[16:47] jomilla12: there will be more cincy sacks than points
[16:48] jomilla12: there is my pick for tonight
[16:48] jomilla12: i can work on the rest tomorrow
[16:48] jomilla12: what a horrible nfl network game
So there you have it. The rest of the picks coming tomororow...
Friday, November 14, 2008
Week 11 Picks
Last Week
Joe: 6-8 (40-43 overall)
Mike: 9-5 (45-38 overall)
[Ed. note: This week, Joe is fighting an Amish illness called Der Flu. His answers will be brief, unreliable and may reek of acid reflux.]
Week 11 Picks
NYJets (+3) at New England
Joe: NYJ. (this was texted to me at kickoff...)
Mike: NE. It's been a rough year for the Patriots. Poor guys are only 6-3. Belichick is on the hot seat and there's talk of moving the team to Scranton. Meanwhile, the Jets are rejuvinated and have extended Favre through the 2021 season. The Pats win in a high-scoring game, 31-27.
Denver (+5) at Atlanta
Joe: ATL. I like Matt Ryan because its the perfect two first-name name. I'm picking Atlanta and I wanted to reference "dirty bird" because I think we need some more team dances. That and a good scandal involving a QB, one where he does something so horrible you cant even imagine it really happened... like if he killed things... can't put my finger on it but I think that would really put the NFL back in some headlines.
Mike: DEN. Atlanta was picked by most know-it-alls to be the worst team of the 2008 season. When they drafted Matt Ryan, I would have sworn that he would be the King of the Duds joining the recent ranks of David Carr and Joey Harrington. But a funny thing happened. He's been awesome. That pass he threw to the sideline to setup the game winning field goal in the final seconds in Week Six was THE play of the year. (But five points is too much so I'm going with Denver.)
Oakland (+10) at Miami
Joe: MIA. Not Oakland team. That sounded better in my head. I'm really disappointed in Darren McFadden's season. Turf toe is a killer.
Mike: MIA. Aren't you happy for the Dolphins? How can anybody hate the Dolphins. I love the smily guy wearing a helmet ON the helmet. They sucked so much last year then hired Parcells, got a new coach, brought back Ricky, traded for a new quarterback just as preseason unfolded and look at them now. They are arguably the "funnest" team in the NFL.
Baltimore (+6) at NY Giants
Joe: NYG. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG MEN. Very hard to ever pick Baltimore. Every New York win makes the Browns look .000001% better.
Mike: BAL. The Browns have been gone for 13 years. And over this past season, I've learned to just ... let it go. Yeah, we have the Browns back but it's kinda like that Angelina Jolie movie, where her child is kidnapped but soon after realizes it isn't her kid. I haven't seen the movie but in Cleveland, we are stuck with this new kid and it's time to let the old one, the good one, go. I don't hate Baltimore because they have the blood of the Browns. It's because they're defense is what I wish ours was and now their offense is interesting to watch.
Houston (+8) at Indianapolis
Joe: HOU. Bob Sanders is back but so is Sage Rosenfels and there is nothing I fear more than an angry revenge laden Sage Rosenfels.
Mike: IND. I've been seeing far fewer Peyton Manning commercials this season. Yes, there's the one of him parading around in a robe but other than that, our TVs have been mostly Manning-free. Maybe 2008 does have a silver lining.
Tennessee (-3) at Jacksonville
Joe: TEN. Tennessee will lose at some point but this isn't that point. I was going to write how this was a battle of 2nd or 3rd class cities -- then I remembered Tennessee is a state. Who knew?
Mike: TEN. Really, what is there to like about the Titans? Kerry Collins? Vince Young? Albert Haynesworth? Other than Bo Johnson and Chris Scaife ... or is it ... well anyway. I made my point. If they win this game, they'll be undefeated in Week 14 against Cleveland.
Chicago (+3) at Green Bay
Joe: GB. Aaron Rodgers will channel his InnerFavre and win on the frozen tundra. It makes me wonder who I would want to channel on gameday or any day for that matter... I'm going with Bernie Kosar.
Mike: GB. I've lost track of Aaron Rodgers. Is he hurt? Was he not doing as well as his hot start? I'm afraid that he's starting to remind me of Derek Anderson. He has that fake-confidence that has evolved with years of fake encouragement. But as my brother says, the Chicago quarterback situation, after all these years, is still HORRIBLE.
Philadelphia (-9) at Cincinnati
Joe: PHI. I said earlier in the year, Cincy, Detroit, and KC should get double digits every game. I'm adding Oakland to this list. Cincy got their win and now will give up on the season -- unless Ocho Cinco cries on McNabbs shoulder some more then at least he will put in 75%.
Mike: CIN. A buddy at work today confided that he's an Eagle fan not because of any particular reason, but when he was a kid he just sorta latched onto them. He wondered why people feel the need to be loyal to their local team. Since he is a first generation Washington DC resident, does it point to a lack of roots in this area? Is that why Dallas is self-considered America's team? Not because anybody is from Dallas (heaven forbid) but because they are new fans in their family. Would you ever let your child grow up without having them cheer the same team as you? Not many cheers in Cincy recently -- but enough to disappointingly cover that spread.
New Orleans (-5) at Kansas City
Joe: NO. Did Tyler "Don't call me Bobby" Thigpen buy KC 5-8 points???
Mike: NO. Amanda hasn't seen many Saints games this year because the Browns have been on National TV nearly every week and we have only been to the sports bar twice. No. Once! Thank God I haven't been spending $60 per Browns loss in beer and pizza. Then again, it's still money well spent. Oh yeah, it doesn't take a whole lot of Saints knowledge to know that Dreew Bres will outmaneuver Tyler Thigpen. (No offense, Tyler Thigpen, because in full disclosure I haven't seen much of you either.)
Detroit (+14) at Carolina
Joe: DET. Finally a spread that makes sense. Buy on Detroit, you Vegas lowlifes, they are getting 14. Culpepper to Calvin Johnson will have the Carolina crowd booing and Steve Smith punching.
Mike: DET. I'm seriously starting to worry about my friends in Michigan. The state is in complete disrepair. Their crowded highways are the most potholed in the country. The foreclosure rates are unthinkable. The auto industry is looking for a bailout. Their cheating mayor is in prison, Michigan football has lost their identity and fallen from grace, the mighty Tigers finished in the cellar and now the Lions, the Matt Millen-less Lions, have yet to win a game. Wow. Let's hope Michigan isn't the canary.
Minnesota (+4) at Tampa Bay
Joe: MIN. I'm not saying they will win but this game will be a mess. Two defenses that are good and two offenses (offensi?) that are offensive.
Mike: TB. Cold team is happy to be playing in Florida. Their spirits will be up but Gus Frerotte will still be throwing interceptions. Does a warm weather team hold a warm weather advantage?
St Louis (+6) at San Francisco
Joe: SF. Coach Singletary has to win sometime and then he will be praised for getting through to a bunch a losers. Why is Trent Green still playing? Poor Torry Holt.
Mike: STL. I'm not saying St Louis is going to win. No, I think Singletary's squad is going to win it this week. It'll take a close finish at the end but I think he's going to get it straightened out. We've been drafting Singletary to be our coach in Madden in years. We just never knew the man was crazy.
Arizona (-2) at Seattle
Joe: AZ. Arizona is so trendy now. Boldin, Fitz, and Breaston are like the Jonas brothers only I don't change the channel immediately and bang my head against the wall when I see them on TV. I HATE THE JONAS BROTHERS. Damn you, Disney channel.
Mike: AZ. There's just something about Kurt Warner ... maybe that he, too, was once a grocery store bagboy. He's the Every Man, the new Testaverde, the new Warren Moon. The passer who keeps on passing.
San Diego (+4) at Pittsburgh
Joe: PIT. They will win and win big. Fast Willie Parker, which by the way is an amazing porno name, will score multiple times.
Mike: PIT. Damn those Steelers. I mean it. Damn them! They have tormented Pete. He's been dating and has since married a Steeler fan. This union has produced a wonderful child and now the young Grayson is already exploring the floor around him. But damn those Steelers. Not once during these five years have the Browns defeated the Steelers. Not once. He has married into an entire swarm of Steeler fans. Someday the Browns will finally beat the Steelers, and that will be the day that Pete will feel a pride he has never felt.
Dallas (-2) at Washington
Joe: WAS. Jerry Jones ages five years this Sunday and Tony Romo will only break hearts.
Mike: DAL. I can hear the Monday Night Football music. Cue it up. "Duhn-Duhn-Duhn-Duhn-Duhn.... Duh-duh, duh-duh..." But this game is Sunday Night. I bet ESPN is ticked. They get the Cleveland-Buffalo game while NBC gets two of the top teams in the NFC. The Great Romo is back, his pinky no longer ouchy, and he's ready to carry this team on Jessica's back.
Cleveland (+4) at Buffalo
Joe: BUF. Hahaha! Just kidding. Woof, woof, woof! CLE. I don't know how but Crennel will try to make us lose. However, I think we manage to out-Crennel Romeo and finally win a game. You play to win the game.
Mike: CLE. The election of Barack Obama should signal that spark of enthusiasm in the fans of Cleveland Browns. Those who lived many years, and never so much as dreamed of the day, that they should see God Himself grant to the people a new leader, a true champion, a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl team -- those people have a new hope -- the emergence of the new messiah in uniform, the answerer of Hail Marys and deliverer of the One Trophy. And that person is ... Luke McNown. Just kidding, it's Brady Quinn. The ship will be righted across the Erie on Monday night.
Joe: 6-8 (40-43 overall)
Mike: 9-5 (45-38 overall)
[Ed. note: This week, Joe is fighting an Amish illness called Der Flu. His answers will be brief, unreliable and may reek of acid reflux.]
Week 11 Picks
NYJets (+3) at New England
Joe: NYJ. (this was texted to me at kickoff...)
Mike: NE. It's been a rough year for the Patriots. Poor guys are only 6-3. Belichick is on the hot seat and there's talk of moving the team to Scranton. Meanwhile, the Jets are rejuvinated and have extended Favre through the 2021 season. The Pats win in a high-scoring game, 31-27.
Denver (+5) at Atlanta
Joe: ATL. I like Matt Ryan because its the perfect two first-name name. I'm picking Atlanta and I wanted to reference "dirty bird" because I think we need some more team dances. That and a good scandal involving a QB, one where he does something so horrible you cant even imagine it really happened... like if he killed things... can't put my finger on it but I think that would really put the NFL back in some headlines.
Mike: DEN. Atlanta was picked by most know-it-alls to be the worst team of the 2008 season. When they drafted Matt Ryan, I would have sworn that he would be the King of the Duds joining the recent ranks of David Carr and Joey Harrington. But a funny thing happened. He's been awesome. That pass he threw to the sideline to setup the game winning field goal in the final seconds in Week Six was THE play of the year. (But five points is too much so I'm going with Denver.)
Oakland (+10) at Miami
Joe: MIA. Not Oakland team. That sounded better in my head. I'm really disappointed in Darren McFadden's season. Turf toe is a killer.
Mike: MIA. Aren't you happy for the Dolphins? How can anybody hate the Dolphins. I love the smily guy wearing a helmet ON the helmet. They sucked so much last year then hired Parcells, got a new coach, brought back Ricky, traded for a new quarterback just as preseason unfolded and look at them now. They are arguably the "funnest" team in the NFL.
Baltimore (+6) at NY Giants
Joe: NYG. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG MEN. Very hard to ever pick Baltimore. Every New York win makes the Browns look .000001% better.
Mike: BAL. The Browns have been gone for 13 years. And over this past season, I've learned to just ... let it go. Yeah, we have the Browns back but it's kinda like that Angelina Jolie movie, where her child is kidnapped but soon after realizes it isn't her kid. I haven't seen the movie but in Cleveland, we are stuck with this new kid and it's time to let the old one, the good one, go. I don't hate Baltimore because they have the blood of the Browns. It's because they're defense is what I wish ours was and now their offense is interesting to watch.
Houston (+8) at Indianapolis
Joe: HOU. Bob Sanders is back but so is Sage Rosenfels and there is nothing I fear more than an angry revenge laden Sage Rosenfels.
Mike: IND. I've been seeing far fewer Peyton Manning commercials this season. Yes, there's the one of him parading around in a robe but other than that, our TVs have been mostly Manning-free. Maybe 2008 does have a silver lining.
Tennessee (-3) at Jacksonville
Joe: TEN. Tennessee will lose at some point but this isn't that point. I was going to write how this was a battle of 2nd or 3rd class cities -- then I remembered Tennessee is a state. Who knew?
Mike: TEN. Really, what is there to like about the Titans? Kerry Collins? Vince Young? Albert Haynesworth? Other than Bo Johnson and Chris Scaife ... or is it ... well anyway. I made my point. If they win this game, they'll be undefeated in Week 14 against Cleveland.
Chicago (+3) at Green Bay
Joe: GB. Aaron Rodgers will channel his InnerFavre and win on the frozen tundra. It makes me wonder who I would want to channel on gameday or any day for that matter... I'm going with Bernie Kosar.
Mike: GB. I've lost track of Aaron Rodgers. Is he hurt? Was he not doing as well as his hot start? I'm afraid that he's starting to remind me of Derek Anderson. He has that fake-confidence that has evolved with years of fake encouragement. But as my brother says, the Chicago quarterback situation, after all these years, is still HORRIBLE.
Philadelphia (-9) at Cincinnati
Joe: PHI. I said earlier in the year, Cincy, Detroit, and KC should get double digits every game. I'm adding Oakland to this list. Cincy got their win and now will give up on the season -- unless Ocho Cinco cries on McNabbs shoulder some more then at least he will put in 75%.
Mike: CIN. A buddy at work today confided that he's an Eagle fan not because of any particular reason, but when he was a kid he just sorta latched onto them. He wondered why people feel the need to be loyal to their local team. Since he is a first generation Washington DC resident, does it point to a lack of roots in this area? Is that why Dallas is self-considered America's team? Not because anybody is from Dallas (heaven forbid) but because they are new fans in their family. Would you ever let your child grow up without having them cheer the same team as you? Not many cheers in Cincy recently -- but enough to disappointingly cover that spread.
New Orleans (-5) at Kansas City
Joe: NO. Did Tyler "Don't call me Bobby" Thigpen buy KC 5-8 points???
Mike: NO. Amanda hasn't seen many Saints games this year because the Browns have been on National TV nearly every week and we have only been to the sports bar twice. No. Once! Thank God I haven't been spending $60 per Browns loss in beer and pizza. Then again, it's still money well spent. Oh yeah, it doesn't take a whole lot of Saints knowledge to know that Dreew Bres will outmaneuver Tyler Thigpen. (No offense, Tyler Thigpen, because in full disclosure I haven't seen much of you either.)
Detroit (+14) at Carolina
Joe: DET. Finally a spread that makes sense. Buy on Detroit, you Vegas lowlifes, they are getting 14. Culpepper to Calvin Johnson will have the Carolina crowd booing and Steve Smith punching.
Mike: DET. I'm seriously starting to worry about my friends in Michigan. The state is in complete disrepair. Their crowded highways are the most potholed in the country. The foreclosure rates are unthinkable. The auto industry is looking for a bailout. Their cheating mayor is in prison, Michigan football has lost their identity and fallen from grace, the mighty Tigers finished in the cellar and now the Lions, the Matt Millen-less Lions, have yet to win a game. Wow. Let's hope Michigan isn't the canary.
Minnesota (+4) at Tampa Bay
Joe: MIN. I'm not saying they will win but this game will be a mess. Two defenses that are good and two offenses (offensi?) that are offensive.
Mike: TB. Cold team is happy to be playing in Florida. Their spirits will be up but Gus Frerotte will still be throwing interceptions. Does a warm weather team hold a warm weather advantage?
St Louis (+6) at San Francisco
Joe: SF. Coach Singletary has to win sometime and then he will be praised for getting through to a bunch a losers. Why is Trent Green still playing? Poor Torry Holt.
Mike: STL. I'm not saying St Louis is going to win. No, I think Singletary's squad is going to win it this week. It'll take a close finish at the end but I think he's going to get it straightened out. We've been drafting Singletary to be our coach in Madden in years. We just never knew the man was crazy.
Arizona (-2) at Seattle
Joe: AZ. Arizona is so trendy now. Boldin, Fitz, and Breaston are like the Jonas brothers only I don't change the channel immediately and bang my head against the wall when I see them on TV. I HATE THE JONAS BROTHERS. Damn you, Disney channel.
Mike: AZ. There's just something about Kurt Warner ... maybe that he, too, was once a grocery store bagboy. He's the Every Man, the new Testaverde, the new Warren Moon. The passer who keeps on passing.
San Diego (+4) at Pittsburgh
Joe: PIT. They will win and win big. Fast Willie Parker, which by the way is an amazing porno name, will score multiple times.
Mike: PIT. Damn those Steelers. I mean it. Damn them! They have tormented Pete. He's been dating and has since married a Steeler fan. This union has produced a wonderful child and now the young Grayson is already exploring the floor around him. But damn those Steelers. Not once during these five years have the Browns defeated the Steelers. Not once. He has married into an entire swarm of Steeler fans. Someday the Browns will finally beat the Steelers, and that will be the day that Pete will feel a pride he has never felt.
Dallas (-2) at Washington
Joe: WAS. Jerry Jones ages five years this Sunday and Tony Romo will only break hearts.
Mike: DAL. I can hear the Monday Night Football music. Cue it up. "Duhn-Duhn-Duhn-Duhn-Duhn.... Duh-duh, duh-duh..." But this game is Sunday Night. I bet ESPN is ticked. They get the Cleveland-Buffalo game while NBC gets two of the top teams in the NFC. The Great Romo is back, his pinky no longer ouchy, and he's ready to carry this team on Jessica's back.
Cleveland (+4) at Buffalo
Joe: BUF. Hahaha! Just kidding. Woof, woof, woof! CLE. I don't know how but Crennel will try to make us lose. However, I think we manage to out-Crennel Romeo and finally win a game. You play to win the game.
Mike: CLE. The election of Barack Obama should signal that spark of enthusiasm in the fans of Cleveland Browns. Those who lived many years, and never so much as dreamed of the day, that they should see God Himself grant to the people a new leader, a true champion, a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl team -- those people have a new hope -- the emergence of the new messiah in uniform, the answerer of Hail Marys and deliverer of the One Trophy. And that person is ... Luke McNown. Just kidding, it's Brady Quinn. The ship will be righted across the Erie on Monday night.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Week 10 Picks
What a wasted weekend set of games. This could be one of the worst weeks of matchups ever. I could write DON"T CARE next to pretty much every game. Shoot me in the face........Damn you Browns
Week 10 Picks
Jacksonville (-7) at Detroit
Joe: JAX. If Jax doesn't win by more than 7, Del Rio may suspend everyone on the team (except Matt Jones, he brings the party) and play with replacement players. Dante Culpepper will either throw for 300yds to Calvin Johnson or barely break 100. Either way, NO ONE CARES, they are horrible.
Mike: JAX. No really, I'm sure Dante Culpepper is the piece they were missing.
Tennessee (-3) at Chicago
Joe: CHI. I'm bringing Rexy back. And I love Justin Timberlake too, I love even more that Madonna is making him re-unite with Britney Spears. I feel like I'm in high school again. Hit me baby one more time. What the hell does that even mean??? Does she enjoy things a little rough or what?? Must be why she is touring with Madonna. Anywho, don't really have a good reason for picking Chicago but I am, deal with it.
Mike: CHI. This is the week the Titans tumble.
Buffalo (+4) at New England
Joe: NE. Buffalo is in the tank. The poop tank. Well at least until next Monday night when they come back from 17 down to beat the Browns in another 4th quarter collapse. Yes, its always about the Browns and how they manage to suck even when they are playing well. Just like they game when they killed the Giants but still managed to give up nearly 200yds rushing. That's horrible and the Bills too have been horrible.
Mike: NE. Aging Pats will do just enough to hold off next year's AFC East champ.
New Orleans (E) at Atlanta
Joe: NO. Just can't see Matt Ryan winning a shootout against Brees. Sure he will win Rookie of the Year, but they won't score with the Saints this week. Then again I couldn't see the Browns blowing another 4th quarter double-digit lead but they managed to do that with ease. So what do I know anyway??
Mike: ATL. Teams I root for inevitably lose. Go Falcons.
St Louis (+8) at NY Jets
Joe: NYJ. Favre is due and this defense of STL will make him look "oh so good" in the grey beard. There are so many horrible teams in the NFL, its hard to write anything but horrible things about them. Yes, I am trying to use the word horrible a record amount of times for any article. HORRIBLE.
Mike: STL. Favre is done.
Seattle (+9) at Miami
Joe: MIA. I think I mentioned a few weeks ago about how much I hate Joey Porter. Pretty sure most of the league would agree since he has decided to call out everyone. I hate him. Despite that, Seattle is HORRIBLE. Miami will destroy them. Any team that uses a roster spot for Charlie Frye should get an automatic loss. He is HORRIBLE.
Mike: SEA. Kudos to Charlie for holding onto that 3rd string clipboard job.
Green Bay (+2) at Minnesota
Joe: GB. One of the 2-3 good games this Sunday.
Mike: MIN. Vikings run all over AJ. OSU linebackers are overrated.
Carolina (-9) at Oakland
Joe: CAR. No Comment. Al Davis is HORRIBLE.
Mike: CAR. Raiders won't win another game this year.
Kansas City (+15) at San Diego
Joe: KC. 15 &^%%^#$% POINTS!!! I thought this was the NFL?? Vegas really wants people to bet on KC, not buying it. They might be the HORRIBLEST.
Mike: KC. Just cover the spread, baby.
Indianapolis (+3) at Pittsburgh
Joe: PIT. Good game #2. Maybe, if Peyton channels UBER-PEYTON back from the dead. If he doesn't, he won't make it through the game healthy.
Mike: PIT. Rooney sold his soul to the devil. Hopefully the devil submits his claim soon.
NY Giants (+3) at Philadelphia
Joe: PHI. Good Game #3. Since when do I want to hear about Chase Utley's lotion habits. I hate that commercial, its...you guessed it...HORRIBLE. How many times a day in the lockerroom does he hear, "Hey Chase, it puts the lotion on its skin!!" Hopefully that happens all the time, that would make me happy. McNabb might want to put some lotion on before this game so he can escape the Giants pass-rush.
Mike: NYG. Giants keep winning to finish 18-1. Hooray Browns.
Baltimore (E) at Houston
Joe: HOU. Can't pick Baltimore because I would be the healthiest person in their secondary right now and Andre Johnson is a beast. Even Sage Rosenfels will pick their secondary apart. Something DA failed to do, he's HORRIBLE.
Mike: BAL. Where was Ray Lewis on Nov 22, 1963?
San Fran (+10) at Arizona
Joe: ARI. THIS IS THE MONDAY NIGHT GAME?!?!?!!?!?!? Who the frick cares?!?!?! Singletary could coach the game with no pants on and still no one would care, and his team still would suck.....i mean, be HORRIBLE.
horrible count -- 14
Mike: SF. 49er fans aren't happy about Prop 8. This will make them feel better.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Week 10 Browns vs Broncos
Denver (+3) at Cleveland
JOE picks Cleveland
Tommy Maddox and Kelly Holcomb combined for 796 yards in a 2002 Wild Card game, I'm taking the under on that for Brady Quinn and Jay Cutler. That fact makes my head want to explode. It proves that anyone can have a good game or series of games (DA) but an actual franchise QB is a little harder to find.
This game marks the beginning of another chapter in Browns history, well since 1999, and will be their 11th starting QB in 10 years. Ty Detmer, Spergon Wynn, Tim Couch, Doug Pederson, Kelly Holcomb, Jeff Garcia, Luke McCown, Trent Dilfer, Charlie Frye, Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn ..... uuuuuugh. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Somehow Dilfer sees that list and thinks "lack of stability." I look at it and see Dilfer on the list and think .... dry-heaved again .... he's not even in the top half of that group. And yet he is considered a great analyst on ESPN, even though he couldn't have came across as any more bitter and any more wrong to any Browns fan when he ripped the Browns for benching DA. I didn't mind him on TV until then and now I don't want to hear his opinion on anything ever.
But tonight we will focus on Quinn, and hopefully get a handful of cuts to his sister in the stands, because like every player that comes to any Cleveland sports team, he is looked at to save the franchise. Is there any way to live up to this hype that's been created and has been building for two years?? Not really, unless your name is LeBron. Judging how Brady has handled himself in the spotlight before, I expect only good things.
This could be considered blind-hope but I believe its the best move the team could have made. It should have been made after the 0-3 start but at least it was made. Anderson will never be better than above-average at best but in Quinn you get that feeling of something better. Sure he hasn't been on the field for more than one regular season drive (11 plays for a FG after Winslow dropped a TD pass) but he has that "it" factor and a presence that can't be ignored. And it was ignored too long. But finally like Indiana Jones, the Browns have "chosen wisely." Although the franchise won't be granted eternal life for this choice, for this week (at least) Brady Quinn will be immortal.
JOE picks Cleveland
Tommy Maddox and Kelly Holcomb combined for 796 yards in a 2002 Wild Card game, I'm taking the under on that for Brady Quinn and Jay Cutler. That fact makes my head want to explode. It proves that anyone can have a good game or series of games (DA) but an actual franchise QB is a little harder to find.
This game marks the beginning of another chapter in Browns history, well since 1999, and will be their 11th starting QB in 10 years. Ty Detmer, Spergon Wynn, Tim Couch, Doug Pederson, Kelly Holcomb, Jeff Garcia, Luke McCown, Trent Dilfer, Charlie Frye, Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn ..... uuuuuugh. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Somehow Dilfer sees that list and thinks "lack of stability." I look at it and see Dilfer on the list and think .... dry-heaved again .... he's not even in the top half of that group. And yet he is considered a great analyst on ESPN, even though he couldn't have came across as any more bitter and any more wrong to any Browns fan when he ripped the Browns for benching DA. I didn't mind him on TV until then and now I don't want to hear his opinion on anything ever.
But tonight we will focus on Quinn, and hopefully get a handful of cuts to his sister in the stands, because like every player that comes to any Cleveland sports team, he is looked at to save the franchise. Is there any way to live up to this hype that's been created and has been building for two years?? Not really, unless your name is LeBron. Judging how Brady has handled himself in the spotlight before, I expect only good things.
This could be considered blind-hope but I believe its the best move the team could have made. It should have been made after the 0-3 start but at least it was made. Anderson will never be better than above-average at best but in Quinn you get that feeling of something better. Sure he hasn't been on the field for more than one regular season drive (11 plays for a FG after Winslow dropped a TD pass) but he has that "it" factor and a presence that can't be ignored. And it was ignored too long. But finally like Indiana Jones, the Browns have "chosen wisely." Although the franchise won't be granted eternal life for this choice, for this week (at least) Brady Quinn will be immortal.
My Rankings of Browns QBs Since Return
- 10. Pederson
- 9. Detmer
- 8. Wynn
- 7. Dilfer (Actually I rank Ken Dorsey ahead of Dilfer too even without a start)
- 6. McCown
- 5. Frye
- 4. Garcia
- 3. Anderson
- 2. Couch (I loved Couch, still think he would have been great on a better team)
- 1. Quinn (Optimism Reigns Supreme)
MIKE picks Cleveland
I heard a story of a kid who went to Vegas with $100 for blackjack. Hand after hand, the cards simply did not go his way. $80 left ... $50 left ... $20 left ... Finally, with only $10 remaining, the kid finally hit a good hand. "Double-down," he said. The risk paid off and soon, the kid found himself gaining back the money he lost. When he finally left the table, he earned back his original $100. He also took another $65 from the house.
Sometimes when things look bleak, it's time to double-down. Cleveland will be doing that tonight when they throw Brady Quinn into the fire on a short week. But what is there to lose? To stay with Derek Anderson is like pocketing that final $10, embracing the lost season and just being happy that Cleveland has an NFL team. But by putting all their chips in Quinn, the Browns are hoping for that good hand to not only bring them back to even, but to catapult them into the playoffs.
And if the house shows 21, at least they're preparing for next year.
Tonight, Quinn proves methodical and accurate. Browns 27, Denver 13.
PS: Don't forget. Derek Anderson is just one play away.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Week 9 Picks
Last Week:
Joe 6-7 (27-28 overall)
Mike 7-6 (29-26 overall)
Joe's Flashes of Brilliance:
Brilliant: NO. Drew Brees in the dome versus a questionable SD defense will call for some high numbers. Expect this game to be in the 30's on both sides. (Final score: NO 37-32 ... in London.)
Not so much: CIN. I think they will score with the Texans and cover the spread. (Houston wins 35-6.)
Trivia Question:
Q: What does Dallas, New England and Pittsburgh have in common?
A: They're all underdogs this week.
And Now Your Week 9 Picks
Houston (+4) at Minnesota
Joe: MIN. Houston is playing better but they are still the Texans. Minnesota will win behind their drug-test failing Williams brothers at DT. OK, so they aren't brothers but they are both huge and I think the Vikings still have a good RB that will be a difference maker in this "exciting" matchup.
Mike: HOU. The Texans have won three in a row but none on the road. It boils down to this: I simply can't place my stellar football-picking reputation on a Gus Frerrotte-led team. Houston's running game keeps APeterson off the field.
Jacksonville (-8) at Cincinnati
Joe: JAX. Cincy, KC, & Detroit should get double figures every week. They are horrible. TJ Whosyourmama went out on a limb for the team predicting they will not go 0-16, so who am I to agrue. Unfortunately that might not come until Week 17 in a classic battle with Kansas City!!!!! YAY, can't wait!!!! Bengal Fever!!!!
Mike: JAX. In my best Amish accent, I would ask my brother, "Oh, Cho, 'sink 'o's Bengals will ever win?" To which my brother would reply, "I hate the Amish." Jags over Bags in a blowout.
Tampa Bay (-9) at Kansas City
Joe: TB. I'm guessing Tyler Thigpen's numbers this week....10-27 or 12-34, for 130-160yds, 2-3 ints, 1-2 fumbles, and LJ's spit in his face. Other than that things are looking up in KC, since the Royals are doing so well.
Mike: TB. Man, I really wanted to pick the Chiefs to cover the spread but I flip-flopped. If not for this blog, I would have absolutely no interest in this game. I certainly don't have any of them on my fantasy team. Here's the real "odds" question. What is the over/under that Joe will make a Jeff Garcia joke?
Baltimore (+1) at Cleveland
Joe: CLE. It's so difficult to predict which Browns team shows up. Derek Anderson will continue to hang on the job with Romeo making the excuse that this is a tough D and games like this happen. But we will win and that's what really will keep his job for another week. I'll be shocked if we don't see a defensive lineman on an offensive goalline situation, then again I wouldn't be shocked if we don't run a play inside the 20 all game. Expect near-fights, taunting penalties, penalties in general, and turnovers by these great offensive teams.
(Watching the Browns is like watching one of those movies on TV where you know something bad is going to happen so right before it does you change the channel in hopes that you miss it altogether or maybe if you aren't watching it won't really happen. Its like in She's All That when Freddie Prinze Jr. gets caught that he made the bet about turning Rachael Leigh Cook into the prom queen, all because pretty boy Paul Walker had to go and ruin it for everyone so he wouldn't lose the bet. Sorry Paul this isn't Fast and the Furius and Freddie is no Vin Diesel.......sorry, forgot where I was going with that. I think it was something about how hard it is to watch an entire Browns game the whole way through without switching the channel at least twice because you know something horrible is about to happen. So what I'm saying is, have your clicker ready if you are watching this game Sunday.)
Mike: CLE. Last night I had the strangest dream. I was in Cleveland Browns Stadium wearing nothing but a Christmas stocking and a Dawg mask. I jumped the rails, ran onto the field but the Browns offensive line tackled me and wrestled me to the ground. But during the melee, Derek Anderson got involved, masks and stockings got mixed up with uniforms, and in the confusion, the police 'cuffed DA, who was now wearing the mask and stocking. I was wearing the orange and brown #3. One play later, under pressure, I scrambled for a 30 yard gain but pulled my hammy. Brady Quinn came in and won the game. Soon thereafter, poverty was abolished, Muslim danced with Jew and the Browns finally won a Super Bowl.
NY Jets (+5) at Buffalo
Joe: NYJ. Grandpa Favre likes it in the cold. It feels good on his silver beard. He has struggled the last few weeks so this is his bounce-back week against a solid defense. I think the King of Nonretirement thrives for sucking just enough for us to doubt him then coming back and throwing for 300yds and 3 TDs in cold, windy weather. And that's why we love him, that and he was addicted to alcohol and pain-killers.
Mike: NYJ. You know who likes cold weather? Brett. The surprising Jets edge the Bills.
Arizona (-3) at St Louis
Joe: ARI. Closer than the experts think. Which I guess if that was literal then it would be closer than 3 and I should actually pick STL. Anyway STL won't cover and neither will either secondary. This will be the "Greatest 2 Shows on Turf"....for one week.
Mike: AZ. I don't give a Ram about what they've done lately. You cannot stop Kurt Warner. (Unless you're Mrs. Warner.) Arizona wins big at Kurt's former home of glory.
Detroit (+12) at Chicago
Joe: CHI. Ever since Dan "I Don't Recognize Endlines" Orlavsky ran out of the endzone and didn't know it, I decided I will not pick the Lions to cover any spread no matter what. That play should be replayed every night. I LOVE it. How can a person possibly be in the NFL and do that??? It must be terrifying in an NFL backfield is all I can convince myself to think or reason as to why that would happen. Good job Lions, firing Millen changed everything.
Mike: CHI. Here's a recipe for disaster. Start with a base of a dome team, add a pinch of a losing streak, toss in a heavy portion of a spacially-impaired quarterback, cut away their best WR. Cook at -10 degrees windchill. Lion stew serves 60,000 at Chicago.
Green Bay (+5) at Tennessee
Joe: TEN. They are too tough and scary. I would run out of the endzone on purpose if I was the QB against the Titans. LenDale White will have another 2-3 TDs in slo-motion, well, full speed to him. If they were smart in Tennessee they would hang $5 Footlong banners in the back of the endzone. (and there was the $5 footlong reference of the week. you're welcome.)
Mike: TEN. Folks, we might be looking at a shutout. That's right, Green Bay is falling and falling fast.
Miami (+3) at Denver
Joe: MIA. Miami is sneaky good and against a poor defense, they will score. This is like picking between your pot dealer (Ricky) and that slutty girl that you know you are 100% going to score with (Denver's D), so there's really not a bad choice here. This week though I go with the dealer, they have been dry for a few weeks and I have the feeling the will be "on" this week.
Mike: MIA. What do the Broncos and Ricky Williams have in common? Both are happy to spend their Sundays a' Mile High. Ricky's gonna be pissed when he finds out it's all about altitude and not attitude. His anger and frustration lead the Dolphins to victory.
Atlanta (-3) at Oakland
Joe: ATL. Matt Ryan has pretty much said "F" you to everyone that has doubted him so far this year. So Matt, don't screw me over now that I have a seat on your bandwagon.
Mike: ATL. Matt Ryan just might wet his pants at the sight of Raider Nation. I feel queasy looking at their fans from my couch. But when the game starts, the intimidating colors of silver and black won't be enough.
Dallas (+8) at NY Giants
Joe: NYG. Oh how I hate the Cowgirls. They are like a Jr. High cheerleading squad. Its always "pity me" and its someone else's fault. And Wade Phillips, he sucks. He makes Norv Turner seem like a GENIUS.
Mike: NYG. Obviously, if Romo was healthy this would be an entirely different game. Cowboy fans are longing for the good ol' days of Quincy Carter and Chad Hutchinson. Giants will punish Dallas, providing ammunition for their postseason rematch.
Philadelphia (-6) at Seattle
Joe: PHI. How can they only be getting 6?? Seattle has about as much of a chance at winning as Charlie Frye does to make the Pro Bowl. I hope no one outside Philly has to watch this game. Wait, I hope everyone in Philly has to watch this game and I actually hope I'm wrong and that they lose. Damn Philly whiners about never having a good team, try rooting for Cleveland or even Seattle then see how you feel.
Mike: PHI. Still high from their World Series win (some of us were watching), Philadelphia fans get one more thing to cheer about. Meanwhile, life still sucks in Seattle.
New England (+6) at Indianapolis
Joe: IND. Not quite the matchup NBC was hoping it would be at this point in the season. At least we will get to hear 18 guys on the pregame show talk about it. Manning will slice up the weaks Pats secondary like its Tom Brady's knee. Ouch, too soon. I'm sorry Tom, you're still beautiful. Just be glad it wasn't your face that got hurt.
Mike: NE. Look out for the Pats. They're being disrespected and now they're angry. The Patriot defense will keep the Colts in check ... enough to cover the spread anyway.
Pittsburgh (+2) at Washington
Joe: WAS. Pitt has too many injuries to overcome against this good of a team. Plus Santonio Holmes will be out of the lineup again as he will be hitting the streets trying to score more blunts since the cops pinched his stash last week. Not really, he will be in the lineup...at the nearest
precinct. OOOOOOOOO BURN...ok i'm done. I hate the Steelers.
Mike: WAS. After Marion Berry and Santonio meet up for pregame snacks, another missed field goal results in Redskin victory.
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