krukster.com: Week 9 Picks

Last Week:

Joe 6-7 (27-28 overall)

Mike 7-6 (29-26 overall)

Joe's Flashes of Brilliance:

Brilliant: NO. Drew Brees in the dome versus a questionable SD defense will call for some high numbers. Expect this game to be in the 30's on both sides. (Final score: NO 37-32 ... in London.)

Not so much: CIN. I think they will score with the Texans and cover the spread. (Houston wins 35-6.)

Trivia Question:

Q: What does Dallas, New England and Pittsburgh have in common?

A: They're all underdogs this week.

And Now Your Week 9 Picks

Houston (+4) at Minnesota

Joe: MIN. Houston is playing better but they are still the Texans. Minnesota will win behind their drug-test failing Williams brothers at DT. OK, so they aren't brothers but they are both huge and I think the Vikings still have a good RB that will be a difference maker in this "exciting" matchup.

Mike: HOU. The Texans have won three in a row but none on the road. It boils down to this: I simply can't place my stellar football-picking reputation on a Gus Frerrotte-led team. Houston's running game keeps APeterson off the field.

Jacksonville (-8) at Cincinnati

Joe: JAX. Cincy, KC, & Detroit should get double figures every week. They are horrible. TJ Whosyourmama went out on a limb for the team predicting they will not go 0-16, so who am I to agrue. Unfortunately that might not come until Week 17 in a classic battle with Kansas City!!!!! YAY, can't wait!!!! Bengal Fever!!!!

Mike: JAX. In my best Amish accent, I would ask my brother, "Oh, Cho, 'sink 'o's Bengals will ever win?" To which my brother would reply, "I hate the Amish." Jags over Bags in a blowout.

Tampa Bay (-9) at Kansas City

Joe: TB. I'm guessing Tyler Thigpen's numbers this week....10-27 or 12-34, for 130-160yds, 2-3 ints, 1-2 fumbles, and LJ's spit in his face. Other than that things are looking up in KC, since the Royals are doing so well.

Mike: TB. Man, I really wanted to pick the Chiefs to cover the spread but I flip-flopped. If not for this blog, I would have absolutely no interest in this game. I certainly don't have any of them on my fantasy team. Here's the real "odds" question. What is the over/under that Joe will make a Jeff Garcia joke?

Baltimore (+1) at Cleveland

Joe: CLE. It's so difficult to predict which Browns team shows up. Derek Anderson will continue to hang on the job with Romeo making the excuse that this is a tough D and games like this happen. But we will win and that's what really will keep his job for another week. I'll be shocked if we don't see a defensive lineman on an offensive goalline situation, then again I wouldn't be shocked if we don't run a play inside the 20 all game. Expect near-fights, taunting penalties, penalties in general, and turnovers by these great offensive teams.

(Watching the Browns is like watching one of those movies on TV where you know something bad is going to happen so right before it does you change the channel in hopes that you miss it altogether or maybe if you aren't watching it won't really happen. Its like in She's All That when Freddie Prinze Jr. gets caught that he made the bet about turning Rachael Leigh Cook into the prom queen, all because pretty boy Paul Walker had to go and ruin it for everyone so he wouldn't lose the bet. Sorry Paul this isn't Fast and the Furius and Freddie is no Vin Diesel.......sorry, forgot where I was going with that. I think it was something about how hard it is to watch an entire Browns game the whole way through without switching the channel at least twice because you know something horrible is about to happen. So what I'm saying is, have your clicker ready if you are watching this game Sunday.)

Mike: CLE. Last night I had the strangest dream. I was in Cleveland Browns Stadium wearing nothing but a Christmas stocking and a Dawg mask. I jumped the rails, ran onto the field but the Browns offensive line tackled me and wrestled me to the ground. But during the melee, Derek Anderson got involved, masks and stockings got mixed up with uniforms, and in the confusion, the police 'cuffed DA, who was now wearing the mask and stocking. I was wearing the orange and brown #3. One play later, under pressure, I scrambled for a 30 yard gain but pulled my hammy. Brady Quinn came in and won the game. Soon thereafter, poverty was abolished, Muslim danced with Jew and the Browns finally won a Super Bowl.

NY Jets (+5) at Buffalo

Joe: NYJ. Grandpa Favre likes it in the cold. It feels good on his silver beard. He has struggled the last few weeks so this is his bounce-back week against a solid defense. I think the King of Nonretirement thrives for sucking just enough for us to doubt him then coming back and throwing for 300yds and 3 TDs in cold, windy weather. And that's why we love him, that and he was addicted to alcohol and pain-killers.

Mike: NYJ. You know who likes cold weather? Brett. The surprising Jets edge the Bills.

Arizona (-3) at St Louis

Joe: ARI. Closer than the experts think. Which I guess if that was literal then it would be closer than 3 and I should actually pick STL. Anyway STL won't cover and neither will either secondary. This will be the "Greatest 2 Shows on Turf"....for one week.

Mike: AZ. I don't give a Ram about what they've done lately. You cannot stop Kurt Warner. (Unless you're Mrs. Warner.) Arizona wins big at Kurt's former home of glory.

Detroit (+12) at Chicago

Joe: CHI. Ever since Dan "I Don't Recognize Endlines" Orlavsky ran out of the endzone and didn't know it, I decided I will not pick the Lions to cover any spread no matter what. That play should be replayed every night. I LOVE it. How can a person possibly be in the NFL and do that??? It must be terrifying in an NFL backfield is all I can convince myself to think or reason as to why that would happen. Good job Lions, firing Millen changed everything.

Mike: CHI. Here's a recipe for disaster. Start with a base of a dome team, add a pinch of a losing streak, toss in a heavy portion of a spacially-impaired quarterback, cut away their best WR. Cook at -10 degrees windchill. Lion stew serves 60,000 at Chicago.

Green Bay (+5) at Tennessee

Joe: TEN. They are too tough and scary. I would run out of the endzone on purpose if I was the QB against the Titans. LenDale White will have another 2-3 TDs in slo-motion, well, full speed to him. If they were smart in Tennessee they would hang $5 Footlong banners in the back of the endzone. (and there was the $5 footlong reference of the week. you're welcome.)

Mike: TEN. Folks, we might be looking at a shutout. That's right, Green Bay is falling and falling fast.

Miami (+3) at Denver

Joe: MIA. Miami is sneaky good and against a poor defense, they will score. This is like picking between your pot dealer (Ricky) and that slutty girl that you know you are 100% going to score with (Denver's D), so there's really not a bad choice here. This week though I go with the dealer, they have been dry for a few weeks and I have the feeling the will be "on" this week.

Mike: MIA. What do the Broncos and Ricky Williams have in common? Both are happy to spend their Sundays a' Mile High. Ricky's gonna be pissed when he finds out it's all about altitude and not attitude. His anger and frustration lead the Dolphins to victory.

Atlanta (-3) at Oakland

Joe: ATL. Matt Ryan has pretty much said "F" you to everyone that has doubted him so far this year. So Matt, don't screw me over now that I have a seat on your bandwagon.

Mike: ATL. Matt Ryan just might wet his pants at the sight of Raider Nation. I feel queasy looking at their fans from my couch. But when the game starts, the intimidating colors of silver and black won't be enough.

Dallas (+8) at NY Giants

Joe: NYG. Oh how I hate the Cowgirls. They are like a Jr. High cheerleading squad. Its always "pity me" and its someone else's fault. And Wade Phillips, he sucks. He makes Norv Turner seem like a GENIUS.

Mike: NYG. Obviously, if Romo was healthy this would be an entirely different game. Cowboy fans are longing for the good ol' days of Quincy Carter and Chad Hutchinson. Giants will punish Dallas, providing ammunition for their postseason rematch.

Philadelphia (-6) at Seattle

Joe: PHI. How can they only be getting 6?? Seattle has about as much of a chance at winning as Charlie Frye does to make the Pro Bowl. I hope no one outside Philly has to watch this game. Wait, I hope everyone in Philly has to watch this game and I actually hope I'm wrong and that they lose. Damn Philly whiners about never having a good team, try rooting for Cleveland or even Seattle then see how you feel.

Mike: PHI. Still high from their World Series win (some of us were watching), Philadelphia fans get one more thing to cheer about. Meanwhile, life still sucks in Seattle.

New England (+6) at Indianapolis

Joe: IND. Not quite the matchup NBC was hoping it would be at this point in the season. At least we will get to hear 18 guys on the pregame show talk about it. Manning will slice up the weaks Pats secondary like its Tom Brady's knee. Ouch, too soon. I'm sorry Tom, you're still beautiful. Just be glad it wasn't your face that got hurt.

Mike: NE. Look out for the Pats. They're being disrespected and now they're angry. The Patriot defense will keep the Colts in check ... enough to cover the spread anyway.

Pittsburgh (+2) at Washington

Joe: WAS. Pitt has too many injuries to overcome against this good of a team. Plus Santonio Holmes will be out of the lineup again as he will be hitting the streets trying to score more blunts since the cops pinched his stash last week. Not really, he will be in the lineup...at the nearest
precinct. OOOOOOOOO BURN...ok i'm done. I hate the Steelers.