Week 15 Picks

By Joe Miller
Special to Krukster.com

I don't really know where my mind will be for this. I just woke up not too long ago, watched the movie See Spot Run with huge stars, David Arquette, the kid from 2.5 Men, and a Dog. I would still rank that movie many spots ahead of the new Indiana Jones movie, talk about ruining a series, that was horrible. I was able to stay awake for maybe 30 minutes and then woke up for the closing credits (best part of the movie). Pretty sure they decided to make every scene look fake and kill any credibility Dr. Jones had in the archeological community. Yes, I believe he is real, well I did 'til Lucas & Spielberg killed that dream a couple nights ago.
Then to make matters worse Mission Impossible III was on TV last night. There are way too many jokes to go through with this horrible movie so I will stick to the standard, "the impossible mission was making it through this movie without a gunshot wound to the head." I will give MI:III (even the shorthand version of the title is ridiculously stupid) some credit, it does rank a few spots ahead of the second movie of the series. Mission Impossible 2, in my opinion, is one of the 2-3 worst movies I have ever scene. From the crazy unrealistic "action" sequences to the worst lines ever heard in a movie, including this doozy from one of the greatest actors of any time Tom Cruise "I will come for you" as he let's the bad guy take the girl away. Damn, I hate that movie. What a waste. I really wanted to sue Hollywood for that one. Right up there on the wasted date column with 2 Fast 2 Furious. Damn you Paul Walker and your dreamy golden locks.
Now you may be wondering what this has to do with this weeks picks and I am here to tell you, not a damn thing. We could make a stretch though and say this horribleness that Hollywood loves to put us through for the most part relates to much of the NFL. This league of parity only is so when you don't have owners who are idiots. Maybe they should have to take some sort of test to see if they have ANY knowledge of football. They can still own the team if they fail but the have to give up some of their power and they aren't allowed to be interviewed about football. Yes, I am bitter because the Browns were one of these teams that was supposed to take advantage of this so called parity but apparently as every sports writer keeps pointing out, we were fooled by the schedule that was easier than Paris Hilton on Prom night, Derek Anderson playing like Jon Moxon (that's a Varsity Blues reference Mike, watch it, its an awesome HS football movie), and Braylon Edwards catching footballs the way Dirty Harry used to catch criminals. So having said all this, all I can say is be careful with high expectations. Hollywood, the NFL, and many other things usually aren't nearly as good as you expect them to be. Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2008 Cleveland Browns...

Sunday's Games

Tampa Bay (+3) at Atlanta
Joe: ATL. Atlanta was the sight of my "sickest day after partying" EVER. It makes me sick that Atlanta has risen this high this fast but these are the fates of life-long Browns fans.
Mike: ATL. This isn't a matchup I normally care about. I suppose I feel more of a connection with Tampa Bay but with Garcia injured, I have to pick Atlanta to keep the worst-to-first NFC South tradition alive.

Washington (-7) at Cincinnati
Joe: WAS. Cincinnati has thrown in the towel on this toilet bowl season for them. I can't see them scoring more than 3-7 points in this one. The Redskins will take out their frustration on whoever the quarterback will be for the horrible, horrible Bengals. Is Chad Johnson still alive??? I could have sworn he was a receiver in this league....maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
Mike: WAS. The Skins are in a tough division while the Bengals would be bad in any division. I can see the Bengals getting thumped at home.

Detroit (+17) at Indianapolis
Joe: IND. They continue their run and Detroit continues their run. Well ok not some much of a run as a slow limping walk to the finish line. At least they have figured out that they have a freak on the outside in Calvin Johnson, who is absolutely unguardable. So next year you will be hearing a lot of Stafford to Johnson, after Detroit uses the #1 pick to ruin another promising young star.
Mike: DET. Points, points, points. C'mon Lions! Let's cover that spread! This is like putting all your money on a three legged horse to show in a four horse race.

San Diego (-5) at Kansas City
Joe: KC. San Diego puts up another stinker and I am on the Tyler Thigpen bandwagon. I remember the beginning of the season when Thigpen was only good for reference to the former record-holding closer and now he's not really good for much more but at least he has been alright. Better than DA at least.
Mike: SD. The Chargers are, perennially, the most disappointing team in football. What a stinker of a game this one is. I suppose the Chargers keep their slim wildcard hopes alive.

Seattle (E) at St Louis
Joe: SEA. This matchup is what the opening was all about. Millions of dollars and a pile of crap.
Mike: SEA. Another lousy game. Seahawks get the edge at home.

San Fran (+6.5) at Miami
Joe: MIA. Dolphins keep winning. I don't understand it but they do. Mike throws harder than Pennington and might even be able to beat him up. Yet, every week they seem to be in the game and come out on top more often than not. Sorry mike, can't say the same about you. I really am sorry, I was taking my Browns frustration out on you....when really I just hate Joey Porter.
Mike: SF. Yes, I'm picking a Singletary resurgency towards respectability for these 49ers. Miami has had a great run but it is shattered at Dolphin Stadium.

Buffalo (+7) at NYJets
Joe: NYJ. Well Buffalo is either going to score 45 or 7. Either way I think the Jets win. This is Favre time. We need to have a 3-way tie in the AFC East going to the final week. Let's decide the winner of the division the way the Big 12 does, whoever has the higher power ranking on ESPN get's to be the division winner and go on to the playoffs. Stupid College!!!
Mike: NYJ. Favre's looked flat lately but now that the pressure is mounting, I think he still has a spark left. The playoffs start now. This is why he came back.

Green Bay (-2.5) at Jacksonville
Joe: GB. Rodgers will show flashes again. Jacksonville will show they have quit on the season. They need to win, let the Browns have that higher pick so we can waste it again. I'm almost scared of Draft Day. Maybe we should go on a vacation on that day so we cannot cheer or boo any pick they screw up.
Mike: GB. It's the time of the season for irrelevant football. Unless you have guys on your fantasy team playing in this game, there's no reason to watch, nay, even think about it. Next...

Tennessee (-3) at Houston
Joe: HOU. I believe in Slaton. After watching the Browns stay in the game until the 4th quarter with no defense and no offense, I lost faith in Tennessee as having any chance in the playoffs. I see a home loss for them in their first game. Sorry Titans, no miracle this year.
Mike: TEN. First it's Obama succeeding Houston's Bush and now it's the former Oilers clinching homefield in Houston. Texas isn't very happy right about now.

Minnesota (E) at Arizona
Joe: MIN. If Arizona had a defense I would pick them easily, but Peterson has been relatively bottled up this year despite leading the league in rushing. I could see him going over 200yds this week.
Mike: MIN. The Cardinals have clinched simply by guaranteeing themselves a non-losing 8-8 record. The Vikings, however, want this game more.

New England (-7) at Oakland
Joe: NE. Oakland, another reason for the opening. New England will stay with the pack in the AFC East.
Mike: NE. Just like the US going after those Somalian pirates in real life, football's Patriots are out to destroy those silver and black shells of themselves Raiders.

Denver (+7.5) at Carolina
Joe: CAR. Denver is backing their way into the playoffs. This is why I am hoping for a San Diego loss this week, that way there is no chance they can make the playoffs. No One wants to see a Chargers-Broncos week 17 game where getting to .500 will get you into the playoffs. Horrible.
Mike: CAR. Check out those Panthers. Remember when Steve Smith clocked his teammate and was suspended the first two games? Now I wish Donte Stallworth would have punched Braylon in the face instead of just stepping on his barefeet with his cleats. Yea, Browns.

Pittsburgh (+2) at Baltimore
Joe: BAL. We hate to admit it but this is where we want to be. Enough said.
Mike: PIT. The AFC North still belongs to the Steelers. The Ravens fall short of regaining their tiara.

NYGiants (+3) at Dallas
Joe: NYG. I didn't think it was possible but I hate the Cowboys more after this past week.
Mike: DAL. The Cowboys are in disarray and that's exactly how they like it. Watch them turn this soap opera around. Tears and hugs everywhere with Terrell, Tony and Jason.

Cleveland (+14) at Philadelphia
Joe: CLE. Battle of the worst management head coaches in the NFL. This should be interesting. I hope neither half requires clock management or we could see 6 timeouts in under a minute or ZERO, who knows!!! We will see a lot of Cribbs this week, we have to...please God let us see more of him. Pretty sure we saw more of Dorsey and will see more of Dorsey than we will see for the rest of his "career." I don't really know what to say about this matchup. Poor Monday Night Football. Kornheiser has to be struggling to put together an essay for this one.
Mike: CLE. This is the dumbest Thinking With My Heart pick of the entire season. What gives me any reason to think that the Browns could score a touchdown with that offense? Why would I think that the Browns defense can stop a pissy McNabb. Well, the Eagles will be without Brian Westbrook and that will help. Plus, the Browns seem to run better without Winslow. I think this helps Cleveland stay within two touchdowns. (Err.)