Football is Back!

And so are our terrible football predictions. I'm sitting on the couch, Coke on ice on the coffee table, Jinx the cat sleeping at my side, pregnant wife barefoot in the kitchen and football season 2009 is finally here. Tonight is the night to be a Titans fan as Tennessee takes on the Steelers. So I need to post the picks before this game gets started. This year my rival again is my formidable brother, The Joe Miller. Here's his thoughts on the new season:

Well we have had eight months or so to clear our heads of last season, take a look at the offseason and prepare for the new season ahead. This offseason has made one thing clear for the upcoming season: nothing is clear and there are many potential playoff/super bowl candidates. Well, except for Cleveland.
Cleveland, this offseason, has been many things but one thing they haven't shown is the ability to make a decision.
First, they trade their best offensive weapon in Kellen Winslow which is fine if they have a solution behind that. Is Steve Heiden our starter? Is that better? Do we have tight ends by committee now? I'd like to see a lot of Rucker but that's only because of my love of Darius Rucker aka Hootie.
Second, the draft picks. Sure, Coach Eric (we are on a first name basis but I still show 'coach' respect) wanted some of his former Jets but couldn't we have at least gotten some better ones? Were there any better ones? Could we not have gotten a 1st rounder in next year's draft? Isn't that what always is involved in trading a top-5 pick? I am okay with the picks, when they finally decided to draft someone, except for skipping on Rey Mauauauaualuga. This is the kind of player we needed. Instead we got his USC backup later in the draft. I like that guy too but would be happier if we had both.
Finally, the hush-hush QB situation. I don't really know what all to say about this other than I thought it was one of the dumbest schemes a 'coach' has come up with. Are they really that different that the game plan for Minnesota was going to differ? Guarding 10 yard passes instead of 20 yard bullets... Anyway, I saw no reason for it and also saw it as more of a confidence killer than a confidence gainer. Stand up and say, "This is our guy, what are you gonna do to stop him?" Show some confidence that maybe we will have a game plan for the first time in years instead of worrying so much about the other team's game plan. Oh yeah, by the way, Minnesota is pretty stacked. Let's stay focused on the task at hand.
And with that said, I'll pick the Browns every week this season...

Well said, Mr Miller. Well said.

Thursday Night Tennessee (+6) at Pittsburgh
Joe: PITT. I really don't want to pick Pittsburgh, but Tennessee made the mistake of stomping on the Terrible Doily. NO ONE STOMPS ON THE YELLOW DOILY!!!! Minus Hainesworth and Tequila makes the Titans a little slimmer and not a good matchup on opening night for the Stompers. Big Ben leaves the waitress in the locker room and leads a 4th quarter rally and the Steelers win by 10+ after a huge last quarter.
Mike: TEN. For months I've been stewing over that phantom catch in the end zone. Santonio's foot was not on the ground when he caught that pass. The Cardinals were ripped off. Luck will not be Pittsburgh friend this season. Tonight is the first night of the new karma. Tennessee covers the spread and wins outright in the season opener.

Sunday
MIA (+4) @ ATL
MIA. Two NFL darlings from last year meet week 1 this year. I guess someone has to win and it will be the Dolphins. Michael Turner will be half the man he was last year and Miami's defense will step up to the challenge. Also, I hear the product is good in the ATL so look out for Ricky Williams in this one. Atlanta will have a losing record this year.
ATL. Teams wearing black are more likely to beat a team in teal. Matt Ryan and Michael Turner make the Falcons a team to watch.

KC (+13) @ BAL
BAL. Ouch, getting 13 in week 1 is not good. KC will need all these points and about 20 more to stay with Baltimore. Unfortunately for Mr. Cassel these aren't the Pats and Ed Reed will have a great day. Look out for Ray Rice, this year's DeAngelo Williams.
KC. I whine as a Browns fan with no Super Bowl appearances. But other than three playoff wins in the early 1990s, the Chiefs haven't done squat since 1969.

PHI (-1) @ CAR
PHI. Really good week1 matchup. Can Delhomme rebound from last postseason?? Can Steve Smith punch something other than a teammate?? Can Mike Vick....well, we'll stay away from that one for now. Philly wins behind McNabb, a couple huge plays, and a rookie RB McCoy.
PHI. Brian Westbrook is the most underrated player in the league. He's out-Tikied Tiki.

DEN (+4) @ CIN
CIN. GAME OF THE WEEK!!! NOT. Maybe it was when Wayne's World came out, but in 2009 not so much. Cincy gets the win here as Palmer begins his Comeback Player of the Year duel with Matt Hasselbeck. Ocho Cinco could kick the Bungles to a win but they won't need it as they run the horrible Broncos back to the mountains.
CIN. I have a smidge of sympathy for some of those Cincinnati players after watching Hard Knocks. I can't imagine going to work everyday with Ochocinco.

MIN (-4) @ CLE
CLE. I BELIEVE BABY!!! I'm trying at least. Behind a gutty performance from Jamal Lewis and Brady Quinn completing (GASP) 70% of his passes, the Browns shock the world and outlast Minny in a scoring fest. Oh yeah, Peterson runs for 220+. Book It.
MIN. I'm excited about the real beginning of the Brady Quinn era. He has potential to grow into a top-tier player with star appeal. The defense isn't there yet.

NYJ (+5) @ HOU
HOU. Super Mario shoots flaming balls of fire at Dirty Sanchez all game. Yes, you read that correctly. Matt Shaub makes it through week 1 healthy and in a game that you definitely want to take the over, the Texans high-powered offense runs the Jets off the field.
NYJ: Outside of Cleveland, the Jets squander more games than any other team. Mark Sanchez probably won't stop this trend.

JAX (+7) @ IND
IND. Peyton Manning will not lose the home opener this year. Jacksonville is not good. Look out for big games from Gonzo and rookie Donald Brown for the Colts.
IND. If Peyton's healthy, they have a shot at one-upping New England's recent run at perfection.


DET (+13) @ NO
NO. Detroit has no chance. Drew Brees might throw for 500yds. I like Stafford to Calvin and they might hook up 2-3 times for TDs this game but it won't be near enough against maybe the best offense in the league.
NO. Thank you dear Lord for the Lions.


DAL (-6) @ TB
DAL. After finally getting rid of dead weight (T.O. & Jessica) the Cowboys start off the season with a win. Romo to Witten is the theme of the game, while Leftwich has trouble finding his own team in this one.
DAL. Tampa has a QB problem. Dallas has a scoreboard problem.


SF (+6.5) @ AZ
AZ. I'd care more if Crabtree was playing, then we would see 2 GREAT young receivers in Fitz and Crab (great crime fighting duo name). Instead it will be an uneventful 2 touchdown win for Arizona. Beanie Wells will find the endzone and Kurt Warner will praise God.
AZ. The Falcons, Chiefs and Cardinals have been to a Super Bowl. I'm getting tired of waiting.


WAS (+6.5) @ NYG
NYG. Almost went with Washington as the shocker of the weekend but in the end Peyton's little bro will throw a wobbler for the winning TD to save the day. But not before shooting himself in the leg, check that, foot and throwing a couple INTs and getting booed off the field. Luckily, Jason Campbell will be getting sacked all day and the Giants D will come up big.
WAS. Redskin fans are pretty loyal even through the Jason Campbell years. With his home state of Virginia nearby, I'm surprised Washington didn't go after Vick.


STL (+8.5) @ SEA
SEA. I like Seattle big in this one and as a playoff team this season. St Louis is terrible so it won't be a tough test to start the season for the Hawks but we will see the old Hasselbeck back and some healthy receivers will remind us of how good he was in seasons past.
SEA. Matt Hasselback must be a survivor. He hasn't done much lately but he's still around.


CHI (+3.5) @ GB
GB. My Game of the Week. Can't wait to see this one. Two QBs who will put up some great numbers this year with Rodgers with the slight advantage. If Cutler had a good receiver he would be right up there but Chicago just doesn't have the firepower to hang with the Pack in this classic. This game will have some great hits from Urlacher and AJHawk but offenses will be the reason for staying up to the finish in this one.
CHI. Is Jay Cutler the answer? Wouldn't it be something if he is? He'd be one of the more unlikeable sports champions if he can revive the Bears.

Monday
BUF (+10.5) @ NE
NE. I almost feel bad for T.O. Wait, no, not even close. Buffalo will be bad this year, I mean Top 4 pick in next year's draft bad. Brady shows no mercy in this one, throwing 4TDs and reminding us why he leads the greatest life in America.
NE. I'm looking forward to having Tom Brady back. Football was ripped off when he was knocked out so early last season. Oh, and now his current supermodel is also pregnant.


SD (-9.5) @ OAK
OAK. Oakland is my surprise pick to cover in this one. Their D isn't awful, too bad the offense is. Oakland will actually hold a lead in this one until falling apart in the 4th and blowing a double digit lead as murder takes place in the black hole. Break out year for Tomlinson starts here, as everyone expects, but keep your eye on 2nd year RB McFadden for the Raiders.
SD. I love MNF doubleheaders. Tomlinson can be a little pouty and he's on the wrong side of 30, but if his toe is healthy, he can still bring it.