Week 15 Picks

Thursday Night Football
San Francisco +9.5 at San Diego
Mike: SD. Yeah, I think it'll be a blowout.
Joe: SD. To show his support, Joe will be Charging his drinks at the Bricktown Christmas party.
Final: SD by 27 (J1-0, M1-0) What's sad is that if San Fran wins its last two games to finish 7-9, they host a first round playoff game. Meanwhile, if San Diego wins its last two games to finish 10-6, they could miss the playoffs.

Sunday
Kansas City -1 at St Louis
Mike: KC. The world-famous Battle of I-70 continues. The Chiefs need the win more so I'll go with them.
Joe: STL. Sam Bradford still has his appendix, I believe that's the difference.
Final: KC by 14 (J1-1, M2-0) Goes to show how useless an appendix is.

Houston +1 at Tennessee
Mike: TEN. This is a tough one. I'm going with the Titans simply because it's going to be cold and outdoors.
Joe: HOU. Johnson V Innegan II. Remember Cortland got the 'F' knocked out of him the first time.
Final: TEN by 14 (J1-2, M3-0) Honestly, I didn't see one highlight from this game and could not care less. The Titans went up 21-0 in the 1st quarter, the game should have ended there.

Jacksonville +5 at Indianapolis
Mike: JAX. The Colts continue to struggle with their lack of weapons. Oh, boo hoo, you teams whining about lack of weapons and injuries. Man up and be happy with your six wins a year like us Browns fans.
Joe: IND. That playoff mountain is hard to climb but Peyton has done it before and he will do it again. This seems like too high of a line, but F it.
Final: IND by 10 (J2-2, M3-1) And thanks to a terrible onside kick the Colts cover the spread. That's two crazy non-cover and cover games for the Colts. Watch out for them the rest of the year.

Arizona +2.5 at Carolina
Mike: ARI. This is hilarious. The Cardinals are so bad, have fallen so far, that they're underdogs to the 1-12 Panthers. I'm not buying into this Jimmy Clausen hype.
Joe: ARI. Thing is Arizona can still win the division. This is a good start.
Final: CAR by 7 (J2-3, M3-2) Again, not a ratings bonanza here. Other than FGs the scoring consisted of Clausen to Jeff King for 16 yards and a recovered fumble in the endzone by the Cards. I would rather watch the Browns 10000000x than this.

Cleveland +1 at Cincinnati
Mike: CLE. Entering the season, I wrote that I'd be pleasantly shocked with an 8-8 season for the Browns. A 6-10 season is more likely and it'll take a win at Riverfront to make it happen. Don't get it in your heads that Colt McCoy is ready to beat playoff bound Steelers and Ravens -- but man, it sure would be awesome.
Joe: CLE. Colt McCoy (pow-pow, bang-bang) won't have to do too much today. Leave that to Pick-6 Palmer.
Final: CIN by 2 (J2-4, M3-3) Mike, please start picking against the Browns again. I think they know when you pick them and then they suck. Once again, great opening drive and no adjustments for the rest of the game. McCoy looked above average in the cold and wind throwing for almost 250 yards and 2 TDs. More importantly no TOs. The D gets most of the blame here allowing almost 200 yards rushing and registering 1 hit on Carson Palmer for the game that really no one remembers. Everyone get your Gruden gear ready, he will be here by February.

Buffalo +6 at Miami
Mike: BUF. I've often reminded Joe that Wins are Wins. That doesn't mean that a team with a better record is the better team though. This is a good example of that. The Bills have played better than their record while the Dolphins certainly aren't as good as theirs. Oh, and the Dolphins are 1-5 at home. How's that happen?
Joe: MIA. Wins are not Wins, and I will prove it again with this pick. Just like last time I'm sure it will work in my favor.
Final: BUF by 3 (J2-5, M4-3) In all seriousness, this is LeBron's fault. He has ruined Miami and now I will never pick them again.

Philadelphia +3 at NY Giants
Mike: PHI. This is the Varsity game of NFC East week and the Eagles will spoil
homecoming for the Giants. (Although Eli can still wear his crown, if he wants.)
Joe: PHI. Too many Eli TOs, killing the Giants chances. Vick is solid but so is the NY D (and PD).
Final: PHI by 7 (J3-5, M5-3)

Washington +6 at Dallas
Mike: DAL. And this is the JV game. The Redskins are a team that have come undone. The local radio shows are blasting the Shanahans, Daniel Snyder ... and defending Donovan McNabb. It's amazing. I don't get it. D-Nabb isn't getting younger, he isn't getting faster, he isn't getting better. He's getting older, slower and worser. Next year will be worse than this one.
Joe: DAL. So McNabb is aging in Delhomme(s). I think maybe that should be the measuring stick. Still rather have Kitna. Remember he's a top 15 QB this week.
Final: DAL by 3 (J3-6, 5-4)

Detroit +5.5 at Tampa Bay
Mike: TB. What the heck happened to Jahvid Best? Remember his hot start, scoring 5 TDs in the first 3 games? He hasn't scored since. Right when I think the Lions are on the verge of improving, they prove me wrong. Long live the Lions.
Joe: TB. Yeah, he got hurt. Not the Best. Anywho, TB will become one step closer to losing in the 1st round of the playoffs.
Final: DET by 3 (J3-7, M5-5)

New Orleans +1.5 at Baltimore
Mike: NO. The Saints are on a roll, winning their last five in a row. This will certainly be a tough game at Baltimore, what with them facing a knife-wielding murderer and a frenzied drunk-driving pedestrian-killer.
Joe: BAL. Just picking them because that very judging of you. Have we not sinned?? Who hasn't cut someone up before or accidentally ran some Amish guy over on some township road at 3am on the way home from the bar??? WHO????
Final: BAL by 6 (J4-7, M5-6)

Atlanta -6.5 at Seattle
Mike: ATL. If he played on the other team this week, he'd be called Matty Rain. And he'd still be a winner.
Joe: ATL. That's what he's called on Fridays when visiting the local Pole Dancing Association.
Final: ATL by 16 (J5-7, M6-6)

NY Jets +5.5 at Pittsburgh
Mike: PIT. This will be a really tough pick for little brother. Who do you hate more? The team you grew up hating or the team you just recently started hating?
Joe: NYJ. My lifelong hatred for Pittsburgh overcomes this season's rage against the Jets. This is a lose-lose situation for me, well unless the Jets cover. But still, you get the idea.
Final: NYJ by 5 (J6-7, M6-7)

Denver +6.5 at Oakland
Mike: DEN. This is a pick that I reserve the right to change. If Tim Tebow starts, well, how can you bet against him -- and JESUS. But if he doesn't start, then I'll go with the Raiders, so this pick might change at gametime. (Update: Tebow starts. They both get the win.)
Joe: OAK. WTF?? Pick Changing?? This will not go well for Tebow or Jesus.
Final: OAK by 16 (J7-7, M6-8)

Green Bay +9 at New England
Mike: NE. Is it possible that the Patriots' loss to Cleveland was a wakeup call? Since that game, New England has won 5 straight by an average score of 39-14. Your 2012 Super Bowl game: Patriots-Eagles.
Joe: NE. Matty Snowflake Flynn doesn't quite matchup with Tom Brady or his hair.
Final: NE by 4 (J7-8, M6-9)

Monday
Chicago +1.5 at Minnesota
Mike: CHI. This must be a misprint. If Favre can't play, the Vikings are screwed. Correction: The Vikings are screwed.
Joe: CHI. Starting at QB, JOE WEBB!!!!!!! Ladies and Gentlemen your 2010-2011 Minnesota Vikings!
Final: CHI big. (J8-8, M7-9)